Maintaining optimism in the face of a lack of diagnosis has been hard @Former-Member - and I want to reiterate that I don’t at any level believe that a diagnosis will bring immediate solutions or resolutions - but what it will do it return some integrity to our situation that is, at the moment, somewhat lacking.
Optimism is where my faith comes in, staunchly believing that this can and will get better, and will give me / us new skills in the process.
I can also see in hindsight that we are living in trauma-affected bloodlines, so if we can stop those balls rolling forward in this generation, it can result in a healing of the generations moving forward, but “teeth need to be pulled” first. In that sense it is a blessing that the problems are surfacing, being diagnosed in some, throwing a spotlight onto the behaviours of others, and can be recognised, talked about, processed, and lived-well-in-spite-of ...... as you have so beautifulily said.
Perhaps the biggest challenge I have faced so far is having one highly-held value compete with another such highly-held value, on my own personal level, and having to choose which one is to take precedence over the other, causing the other to seemingly fall down or be surrendered in the process. This is definitely where it helps me to place a “For Now” label over the decision.
One example is speaking out here about my family, and even venting about anecdotal issues. It goes against the grain for me, but the alternative was losing my own mental health balance to situational depression, and my physical health to the effects of beyond-manageable stress. Or taking on my husband’s illness directly, forcing him to try to choose something that he cannot choose, and witness a far more immediate distraction of my family as a result ...... where amongst the ashes a diagnosis would very clearly emerge ..... too little, too late.
