Hi, Recently diagnosed BPD

@RicePuff @outlander Hi RicePuff, just read your post, I have had OCD intrusive thoughts and been diagnosed with this for a while now. Although I was diagnosed and been down a very long path of searching I still didn't feel like it was just OCD that I had, I felt there was something else deep inside my brain that didn't fit into the OCD (Pure O) category. It was only by chance that I signed up to this forum last weekend and saw a post on BPD. I have not heard of BPD before so I clicked on it and read what they had to say and said straight away, "that is EXACTLY" how I feel and think.

All week I have been researching BPD and have realised that is my main issue and the OCD is just a tack on the side to really create a mess in my head.

I don't have the answers for you but I just want you to know what I'm like you, new to BPD, definately have it and would love to stay in touch and maybe we can share ideas or experiences to help both manage this.

Would love to hear from anyone that has BPD and how they manage it and or what is the best treatment and if it has worked for them.

Have a great day!!!!!!

Cheers

Hi Rice Puff,

I welcomed & also found my very new (literally last Friday) diagnosis of BPD an overwhelming relief! So many yrs I feel I've wasted fighting a nameless losing battle within myself. Living with the gut wrenching feeling that I am here, on this planet, for one clear & definitive reason but never being able to put my finger on what that reason was. Dipping my toe in many ponds full of lots of different opportunities, hoping for some answers, only to fail over & over due to either self sabotage, not being able to follow right thru to the end, fear of not having a safety net so I bale out when I feel it's safe to rather than being caught off guard by the 'we're letting u go' speech that is inevitably looming, not being very 'peopley' (personality clashes), not fitting in, not standing out, being too 'full on', not being full on enough. The list goes on.....

I still (at 44 yrs of age) don't know what I want to b when I grow up! But I know I don't want to b this! Nothing I seem to do, think, say, feel is ever right or good enough? I know that I am a good person, I'm kind to others, I care too deeply at times but I always attract users, back stabbers, losers. People who would not hesitate to thro me under the bus to save themselves & have done just that even after everything I've ever done to help them in their time of great need. Provided accommodation, fed & watered, leant money, clothed, supported, transported ect ect only to receive a slap in the face on their way out the door. The lack of respect I have been on the receiving end of from others I actually considered my friends, has now lead me into becoming very reclusive. I trust noone. I basically hide away so I'm not at risk of having to feel anything. Not feeling doesn't hurt half as much as the continual disappointments.

This is my first contribution to not only this forum but any kind of forum. I'm such a dinosaur when it comes to the whole cyber world but I'm also hoping this will help me to connect with others who can help me begin my journey toward better mental health & maybe even complete freedom one day. With the help of other like minded people & others who can totally relate & who r also brave enough & willing to selflessly share their own stories because in doing so someone might experience their own personal light bulb moment, or a really important lesson may b learnt or it may even save a fellow boarderliners' life.

Namaste