Auditory hallucinations and paranoid beliefs

Hi there

Im here to share my experience and hopefully gain some knowledge about what others experience in terms of auditory hallucinations.

Firstly I’ll start by saying I’m a 23 year old female that has been diagnosed with ‘psychosis’(still lost as to what my diagnosis is/whether it’s somethig more than just an episode) But I have been hearing voices for 6 months. I didn’t tell anyone for a long time and only have recently started dealing with it as it led to me almost taking my life when they all dared me to end it.

It started out as I thought I was hearing people through radios or thinking there are cameras that have accidentally allowed a two way microphone without the camera operator aware. I’m quite a rational person and thought these voices would be from a logical explanation so I didn’t believe they were coming from inside me. When alone, I stopped listening to my own internal thoughts and started concentrating on always listening, in an attempt to hear something to catch them out and prove they either do or don’t exist. The voices (apart from 1) are people I know. Sometimes it’s like I can write their script and make them say certain things I.e if I walk past a particular type of car then I can make them talk about that. Sometimes it’s like I can hear people’s thoughts. Other times it’s like I’m overhearing a conversation I shouldn’t be and sometimes it’s like they are inside my head and take over and control me. Sometimes it’s like they are in the room with me but only rarely does it feel like they are right next to me.

I find myself doing certain things the way ‘they’ like it. Sometimes they use words that I don’t typically use or only rarely do they have new ideas or information. usually what I hear from that voice is the worst thing that person could say about me or rather that voice picks on my insercurities in the worst way.

I don’t think I’m schizophrenic because I rarley lose my sense of reality and am aware that these voices aren’t real but that doesn’t stop me listening to them. I also looked into DID (disassociative identity disorder) because I found my internal voice disappears and another voice takes over the ‘microphone’.

I would love to hear your stories about hearing voices and what that feels like to you or how they present themselves (i.e do you hear them as like invisible people standing next to you, through white noise or like a distant conversation).

i also would love to know if anyone else has recognized the voices using language that you don’t or having unique/new ideas that feel like they couldn’t come from you?

I know these voices aren’t real but am looking for reassurance that other people experience similar things. I’m currently feeling like the odd one in my friends and family.

Any stories you can share would be amazing.