Told I have GAD

@BlueBay, So sorry you are feeling ovewhelmed. These diagnoses are labels - that make it easy for the profession to say "this cluster of behaviour" points to xx - in your case "GAD". I too live with Anxiety, it was described for me as Core Anxiety (and I have lived with it since I was 4 years old) - I have sat here this morning trying hard not to swamp myself with tears and worry about my elderly Mum, who is in a crisis and because of loss of cognition (memory loss) can't SEE that she needs help. I have sufddelnely become the responsible person, an adult child daughter who is now carer/mother descision maker and I feel woefully inadequate to that task.

There are two things I think that can be helpful - I get overwhelmed with stress, and there is a physiological reaction that is happeneing that causes this, the more I *think* about a problem (and I really DO overthink everything) and rifle through the ticky box trying to find solution, solution, solution, and then pour more problem, problem, problem, on top - i start to drown mentally and emotionally. The physical stuff that happens is Andrenalin & cortisol run high, and once that is hapeneing I (and anyone else wholives with this) have no bloody chance of really solving anything. The simplest *next thing* that breaks or becomes a problem brings me undone. I unravel, and that then makes it even harder to get on top of or soprt out the problems. Its like a terrible vicious circle of tigers eating their own tails!

The very best thing I can do is UNPLUG from it all with dedicated purpose for a while. Put it down, let it go, go for a walk - and pay attention to my surrounding, break free of the anxiety orchestra, listen to the birds, name the things in my environment - (come into the present/now) and when the ratty thoughts and anxiety intrude, just say "I will attend to you later" if we can bring our physiolodgical reaction down to calm, it make sit so much easier to THINK celarly, without over thinking or squirrelling into a fuzzy mess.

Easier said than done - but - challenging the thoughts can be very useful - I tend to catastrophise - make every thing HUGE and ALL PERVASIVE - that is overwhelming, If I can break what is happeneing down into component parts and back off from the dramatic all consuming everything torrent - by writing a list for instance and asking clear questions to get answers as to next steps.

Someone else mentioned where do we get REAL help - because counsellors and MI practioners are taught to just lead us about on a merry go round of expressing our thoughts, feelings and etc and not giving "advice" Sometimes we NEED advice, sometimes we NEED clarity and a few clear steps we can take to start to solve the myriad problesm we have accumulated (by no fault of our own - that's life!). In the absence of that advice we have to try to be our own guides and advisors, and to be that for ourselves we MUST try to get calm, clear and isightful and that is the crux of it. For me.

And I so needed to hear all of this myself this morning because I am unreavelleing in worry and concern for my Mum's wellbeing and future. I guess the pinpoint is - How do we step back from the torrent and get clear enough to tackle ONE thing with clarity and stay focussed?

Hi @MoonGal

Thank you for your advice. I can resonate which what you are saying. I get it.

I had no choice but go to work today and I did let it go at times during the day. Although I still worry and stress so much about everything.

I do understand the stress and worry you are having with your mum. We have my mother in law live with us for 20 years and just 2 months ago we had to put her into a nursing home because of a fall but mainly because of her dementia. It was the hardest decision to make but one that we both have agreed to that it was for her own health and wellbeing that now she is cared for 24/7. But I can say that the guilt I had as a daughter in law was terrible. My husband was okay with the decison but it was me that caused so much anxiety. It is hard trying to be the carer when you yourself need care. Are there any support that you can get eg. home help or even respite for your mum. We did start off with a 2 week respite for MIL when hubby and I went away for 10 days.

I hope things work out for you and your mum. I know exactly how must be feeling.

Pls take care

Hi @BlueBay,

and hello to @MoonGal as well.

I suffer from anxiety, too. I would guess that it's GAD, because I worry about almost everything. The anxiety feels the same, but the object of my anxiety changes slightly all the time - I would say I also have mild to moderate social anxiety, too.

I worry if I miss a call on my mobile, I worry sometimes about crossing the road, I worry that people don't like me much, I worry about my Dad being alone since my Mum passed, I worry that I haven't given my husband the attention he deserves. I worry about what I'll cook for dinner!

It's like I constantly feel like I'm under pressure and it's very exhausting. It's normal to be concerned about all these kind of life issues - but the level of anxiety I attach to almost everything is way too extreme. Constantly going over things in my mind does not help. It only makes me more anxious.

The thing that helps me the most is to "label" the anxiety as soon as it happens. Rather than directing the anxious thoughts towards an issue - like thinking about my Dad's loneliness - I just say to myself "I'm experiencing anxiety right now." Then I take action. I might make myself a cup of herbal tea and pick up a favorite book. Or I might go for a walk in nature, I might take a shower and then put on a favorite shirt and some perfume. I find it helps to do just about anything, rather than just sit there or lay there thinking.

It's good to call a friend for a social chat, too. You don't have to tell your friend that you are feeling anxious... although it's fine if you would like to do that. Then change the subject and talk about something pleasant.

Something that I found really helpful is to practice mindfulness meditation. There are plenty on on-line resources you can use if you would like to explore this. I think @Silenus has written about mindfulness recently here on SANE forums.

Also, some people find antidepressant medications can work very well for moderate to severe anxiety. I have taken these meds in the past with good effect. Benzodiazepines are also good at relieving anxiety but they are not reccommended for every day use. You would have to talk to your doctor about medication - not everyone needs it and all meds have side-effects. I'm just saying that the drugs worked for me.

I hope you feel better soon.

@Sahara and @BlueBay - I am so glad we are having this discussion, I was off the planet yesterday with anxiety, feeling overwhelmed about my Mum and my responsibility to her to keep her safe, and cared for. I cried and was a tad hysterical for a while - but called Lifeline and had a talk about it all and it was reflectd back to me that it sounds like I am doing a really good job. (phew - I lose sight of whether what I am doing is good, effective, helpful etc in the maelstrom of anxiety).

Very helpful tip @Sahara I needed to hear this: "The thing that helps me the most is to "label" the anxiety as soon as it happens. Rather than directing the anxious thoughts towards an issue" Thank you!

Hi @MoonGal,

that's good that you were able to ring Life Line and talk to someone. I have rung this service too, in the past. It was good just to talk to someone and not feel so alone.

Yes, I have had that experience where I am actually doing quite well with a job or a project or even with socializing, but I feel off-the-scale anxiety, anyhow. So the level of anxiety does not necessarily correspond to the situation. It's so weird like that. It's just something that happens - like, any type of stimulation, good or bad, trips my brain over into anxiety.

The funny thing is that people often comment on how calm I appear and how nothing ever worries me! I've become an expert and concealing all my emotions and projecting a bland, mild disposition to the world.

Hi @MoonGal

It must have been the day/night for ringing Lifeline; I actually chatted online with them last night.

I understand what you are going through with your mum; it is hard work and it is draining as well and as a daughter you want to keep her safe and cared for.

I'm glad I started this thread - it helps everyone!!!

Take care xx

@BlueBay and @Sahara - thanks for being there/here.