UnderwaterCasual Contributor
Completely lost
Hi I’m new to this forum and I just needed a place to talk.
I moved to a new city over a year ago where I don’t know anyone apart from my partner and I’m so depressed I can barely breathe. I cry everyday, I have totally lost the will to live, I hardly go outside, I can’t work, I just have no energy and just lie around all day hating myself, having endless awful conversations in my head, feeling like such a burden on my lovely kind supportive partner who is out working and providing and looking after everything while I just cry and cry and cry at home by myself. Honestly, even last night she had to go to an event that we were both invited to that she had to go off to alone because I am so down and sad and feel like all I’ll do is cry if anyone asks how I am ? This happens all the time and I feel like I’m ruining her life and so I keep on saying to her why be with me? You know. I feel like such a waste of life, such a waste of time. Just nothing but a terrible boring burden. Every night I have terrible panics about the fact it will be another day tomorrow, because every day is such torture. In the mornings I wake up so early and just feel nauseous with dread and anxiety and sadness. I really can’t cope any more. All that is around are the walls of the apartment and nothing. Just me and the most horrific sadness and pain in my head. I don’t clean, hardly get dressed in the morning, I just have no energy ...all the energy I have is used on feeling guilty and useless and like my life is over.
