BPD poem

This is a poem on how I see myself and feel with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

It's not easy to be seen

Life is not always green

i wish i could hide away

for just one more single day

If only others could see

That my life is not always glee

then maybe they would understand

and give me their hand

Many faces on each day

I don't know which one I am today

If only I could just be me

Then I would be set free

The rage is high

The mood is low

I wish sometimes that I could go

It hurts to show the pain I'm in

if only i could just give in

The tears that roll down my face

I'm tormented with this damn race

I feel like I've been kicked and thrown

by the ones who should be my own

but they are the ones who will not see

that i am just me

It's hard to let go of the pain I'm in

If only i could let it win

For I am tired and worn

Some days I wish i wasn't born

But now i have a family of mine

And hoping that within time

I will see who i have become

a beautiful happy mum

Time will tell but not for now

Because I still feel so down

I need to be strong

to move along

BPD is not an easy thing to see

I just wish sometimes it wasn't me

But as I start to see me flaws

and work on them so i can open the doors

Happiness is want i want

Fear is not what i want

tears are rolling down my face

as i type this on this page

For me writing poems or jotting down notes about how I feel lets me be free of no judgment; just letting me be me. I may not be the smartest person or the happiest person or the healthiest person - but - I am me and I can't change who I am, tears and all, disorders and illnesses - that's me. I just wish people would start to accept me for who I am - flaws and all.

ps. it's not the best poem I have seen - but it's from my heart.