I miss my Mum and should I forgive my stepmother?

Mother’s Day cards are in stores along with an abundance of women’s slippers, this always gets me down. You see folks, I lost my mother when she was 45 and I was just 11. It was sudden... aneurysm... and I never had the chance to say a proper farewell to her. I was considered too young to attend her funeral and so wasn’t present. I also really didn’t understand the gravity of it all. I was suddenly the woman of the house and had to bring home my below par home economics cooking as the evening meal for my family. I had to wash, iron, vacuum, cook and clean... I knew not how to do any of these things other than keeping my room tidy. I miss her terribly even today. Mother’s Day is hard for me, I spend the day in tears.

Fast forward a year after my beloved mum meeting her maker and my Dad announces to me that he is marrying my aunt... my mother’s sister. Years later I would discover that she was having an affair with him while my mum was still alive. After the marriage took place, years of neglect and emotional abuse began. I grew up in a household where I was definitely unloved and unwanted. I was asked on the phone tonight if given the chance, would I forgive her. I don’t know the answer. I was kicked out of home with no income at the tender age of sixteen. I was the victim of very manipulating emotional abuse... it took years of therapy to realise that. Should I forgive now that they are old and both in failing health? I have tears 😭 right now because I’m so confused and conflicted.