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Friends, families and carers

Not sure what to do !!!

Not sure what to do !!!

Got a question , a problem , kind of ?? @Former-Member , @Appleblossom , @outlander , @Determined , @Faith-and-Hope , @Jacques , @PeppiPatty , @Owlunar , @Sophie1 , @Sophia1

unsure what to do as mum has been in hospital for nearly 4 weeks so far after her hip surgery and as well as having reoccurring bowel obstructions

mr shaz and my cousins think my mum is scared of going back to her house

been getting the house rearranged and sorted for her to come back home

I have been visiting her everyday and sometimes I wonder if she is developing dementain

got a transistion appt to develope a home plan for the near future , I am asking my aunty to be there with me

I sometimes think she is not ready to go home

3201 replies

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In response to: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

thank you @Smc , @BlueBay

going to try my @Jacques but mum does not want anyone to come in and help , so indepentant but frail xx

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

i understand @Shaz51 so was my dad, but sometimes they have to swallow their pride, it is hard hard work being a full time carer and everyone needs help, it really is a two person job. i hope if you have a chat to your mum, maybe even get someone in to help clean and cook meals for her, and you can do showering and changing cloths for her

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

thank you my awesome friend @Jacques

how has your weekend been

i have put drops in mums eyes and have rubbed her sore shoulders , the doctor thinks she has a pinched nerve in the shoulder area xx

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Sorry to hear that your mums health and abilities have deteriorated to that extent @Shaz51 . It seems to have happened quickly, but I expect for you ... you'd have noticed a slow but steady decline. Terribly sad when our loved ones fade like that. My Dad is in a similar situation.

Also disappointed for you that dialysis is being recommended sooner than you had hoped. Has your kidney function dropped below 20% already? Or are they concerned about buildup of toxins that your body is currently unable to eliminate? I guess if your overall health is now suffering badly, then you will likely feel much better once dialysis starts. Its far from easy though, and very time consuming. I had a cousin who was on dialysis for years. She did well, but sadly never received a donor kidney. And a friend of my husbands had dialysis for a long time. He was in his late 40s at the time. He eventually received a donor kidney, and has thrived ever since. In fact I saw him at hubbys funeral 5 weeks ago. He is over 70yo now, and still going strong.

Thinking of you @Shaz51 and hoping for the best all round, for you, your mum and Mr Shaz.

Emelia 🌷🌻🌹

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

aww you are such a goo daughter my friend @Shaz51 your mum is so so lucky to have you in her life.

been a quiet weekend, got sore joints from the covid shot, so just resting. spending a lot of time with my girlfriend. i really enjoy spending time with her.

hugs my friend, you are amazing 🙂

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

are they concerned about buildup of toxins that your body is currently unable to eliminate? -- thank you my sister @Emelia8 , still the kidney funtion is at 21% but the toxins that are out of control

trying to keep it stable as long as i can xx

yes i was thinking of you and your dad xxxx yes to see mum not doing her usually things and they are getting less every week

Mr shaz says he is getting dementia -- i say no way

how are you going my sister xoxo

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

@Jacques , my brother , I am soo happy you have a wonderful partner

Hope you feel better soon after your covid shot -- 1st shot or 2nd shot xx

i have not had mine yet

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Thank you my lovely @Shaz51 I'm truly content now.

Umm it is my first shot, second on on the 28th, I got no major side effects a sore arm is about it

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

got no major side effects a sore arm is about it-- that is good my @Jacques

how is your mum going xxxx

In response to: Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Re: Not sure what to do !!!

Hey @Shaz51, just wondering. If you explained to your Mum that starting dialysis means you'll have less time available and you'll need more looking after yourself, and asking if you could get someone in to do a few jobs to take pressure off you..??? Might she accept that?
I've been on the receiving end, needing home help after major surgery. It is hard to accept, and it's hard having strangers come in to do tasks. I never realised how personal dish washing could feel! But once we settled in with the ladies, they were very nice company.

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