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Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Okay with a long talk with my support worker this morning, I’ve come to the realisation that perhaps I need to see my psychiatrist sooner rather than later. I’ve drastically changed how I look because I think people are following me, I’m not sleeping, I hardly want to go out, I go from suicidal thinking to euphoria and I keep thinking I’ve been wrongfully accused of a crime and will go to jail. I’m also hearing a lot of voices talking all at once but mainly telling me that my wife is going to die.

phew that was hard to type. I’m literally shaking with anxiety. I hope it was okay by the mods here but I copied and pasted the above paragraph into an email to the shrink. I won’t copy anything else. Just hard to put things into words and verbalise what I want to say.

My love to you all friends. I’ll let you know what the shrink says.

14 replies

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In response to: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Re: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

@Bunniekins

Yep it's a bit deep

Good on you for studying philosophy.

I'm glad you like it 🙂

In response to: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Re: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

It took a lot of planning, yucky anxious feelings and trying desperately to wear a mask, but I left the house and went to college today. I was still hearing voices telling some pretty awful stuff but after six hours I finished an assignment and got 100%. Generally the same assignment takes only a couple of hours. I kept losing focus. I see my process Thursday and tomorrow evening I see my psychologist. I am thankful for that. I also can talk to someone from arafmi also in the meantime.

Right now I feel jittery but euphoric... it’s difficult to explain. I dyed my hair and cut it to look completely different. I feel safer after this.

I also feel sick in the tummy but am sure it’s anxiety.

In response to: Re: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Re: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

I’m here if you need somebody, what a hard time for you.

In response to: Re: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Re: Agitated and mixed up what the heck?

Hello friends,

I went to my psychiatrist appointment today. He questioned me about my quite different appearance and I was honest and he wrote a lot of things down. The bad news is he thinks I’ll never completely be voice free, that I will likely have them forever . He said it is quite obvious that I am treatment resistant so I guess that is that. The good news was that he didn’t think that a stay in hospital was necessary because I am not a danger to anyone or myself.

I also found out that my favourite mental health nurse has cancer and isn’t very well. This saddens me because she is genuinely a nice person. She also has MS so she has a lot on her plate.

still feeling jittery and anxious but I gotta think myself out of this. After all my brain got me into this mess in the first place didn’t it?

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