Ours, but theirs

Well that's good you are at least taking care of your own mental health. It's better to have quality time with your children rather than arguing with their mother. Unless she is aware of her own condition I would imagine here is nothing you can say to help her. Just be strong and healthy for your kids.

Went to pick her up from shopping. She hadn't finished. Our kids were nagging for a lolly. She turned and threatened the kids loudly with a breakdown in the supermarket! I heard people comment about what she said. I was as shocked as the strangers. I bought them a flake each. They were all smiles. I don't think the approach she took is healthy for the kids self-esteem.

As a parent who is made out to be the bad guy, it is difficult. I say no, she would let them, my step kids that is. Now with the younger two, she says no, but they do what they want like the older two were allowed to do. She then makes me out to be the bad guy again, because I help them do what they had asked.

Yes that screaming and ranting is awful and very embarrassing when it happens in public. My daughter does the same thing. I guess the kids are used to it. There's really no other choice. But when they are older they can join the Young Carers group to get some further insight.

Hmmm. Sometimes parenting is very much about consistency as children learn to play parents off against each other.
Maybe next time, let the children have a moan..or take them out of the supermarket so mum can finish the shopping.
In the end by supporting her, you will be supporting your children, and they get some dad time..maybe you can talk to her about if its OK to walk them out for a treat, which could be a play at the park or a trip to the library.
Or, maybe even see if you can have them for a couple of hours so she can go shopping, pay bills etc and you get more time with your children...your wife might really appreciate it and she won't be losing it in front of your children...

Take care, keep being patient, parenting and negotiating through changed circumstances is tough..

Hi,
I've been reading these helpful comments....
Allessandra1992 as usual.... is so correct on,,, playing one parent against each other.

what I like Mick is that you are turning to a difficult situation and looking at it creatively
...asking people for suggestions.
Turning a potential monologue into a dialogue.
Responding positively.
That's what I think is awesome.

Some like minded people would know of my or someone else's deep dark fears and you.........open for help.......has some of the battle covered. I'm probably not the best person to write to concerning houses....I sold mine to pay for therapy for my kids but am always checking out places to purchase another.....have you checked out Department of housing in your state ..cheap houses/ public houses... for sale cheap deposit...funded by the Government?
having a good car seems okay with young children. Just make sure to wash the car/ keep it in good condition.
You write you have no friends. I think. Okay.....this is common....but you seem a creative person. Not being a male I'm not sure It may be easier for me because I go and visit my neighbours and play hours and hours of scrabble with one of my neighbours.
could you um....go to the local men's shed? I remember one of the Arafmi support groups I went to suggesting that.
Please write soon we are interested in you.

YOur children sound gorgeous.

I am good. Thanks for asking. I now go play competition pool on a Monday night. So I don't stay cooped up at home. The shed is an excellent suggestion! I'm on the waiting list for my own place now. About 3 months wait, so I can get access with my kids.
Keep a smile on your dial! 🙂

Hi GivingMick,

Thank you very much for the note. I can only write for myself but the knowledge that I have from the forums is that.....al you gotta do is write. I like to feel that all the workers here ...Nik Nik, Cherry Bomb, Hobbit ....have their own personalities but are all really up to date on the info.
then you got us regulars. the people ground level......
positive reinforcement

Ooro from ja46yr

Thanks for the nice little comment @PeppiPatty !!

@GivingMick - so did you go to the pool comp on Monday night?? How did you go??

Hobbit.

Didn't make it to the finals, we weren't that good. But it's all for fun and the social interaction! Out camping in the bush right now, peaceful and relaxing, back to nature! Not much tv for the kids. Plenty of BBQ and salads, chips and dips. Soft and hard drinks.
Only tech. Is the lights, phone, and car radio!