SH

I tried to SH to get rid of the feelings- I have not SH in such a long time- it has always helped to make me feel better-
In the past, it has always taken away the mental pain by focusing my Attention on the physical pain- therefore stopping the mental pain. It used to give me a huge high - because I was so relieved to be free of the non-stop mental pain- it made me feel high & relieved.
This time I don't even feel it- it is like my leg is not attached to my body or the essence of me-it has not helped relieve me of any mental pain - there is no high, no happiness to be free- no relief.
I barely even feel it. It has not helped at all. I have no ideas left. It hasn't got anything to do with suicide. I just feel numb. The only thing that ever helped me- that I was holding off on doing- has not helped at all.