Guilt, Shame & Regret

How do you get rid of overwhelming feelings of guilt & shame- from behaviours when you are unwell?

I know I was suffering from severe CPTSD from childhood & lifelong trauma & abuse in every single form, severe anxiety, severe agoraphobia, grief over my mothers death & just two months later grief ove my daughters fathers death, whilst simultaneously being actively abused emotionally, mentally & physically to the point I was unable to go to my mothers funeral because the Narcissitic abuser was her husband- who in turn brainwashed several family members into also abusing me & excluding me- even my adult son who after this full grown man physically assaulted me INFRONT of my dying mother & toddler daughter & then called the police on ME to have me arrested & that would have led to my daughter being put in care because I have no one to watch her -( I was not arrested because I didn't do anything wrong)- but my adult son told the police it was MY FAULT! That's how brainwashed he is against me-

how did I do something and completely mentally bury what IV done- like not remember AT ALL until the other week- which resulted in me having the breakdown which was on here- does that mean I have a split personality- or it was just buried from stress of everything IV explained above? I'm so confused & have overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame & regret-

i was also coming off of medication at the time- but had not told doctor- just decided I couldn't stand it anymore so wanted to stop- geuss that factors in also.

Cant get rid of this shame, guilt & regret.