Bpd journey

@Bentpole-01 hello i have also been diagnosed with bpd but i also have other diagnoses. welcome to the forums. there are a number of people on here with bpd if my memory serves me correct. i hope you are able to get access to your daughter again.

Hi @Eden1919 , Thanks for the message. Everyday is different, challenging. Can I ask you, what you find difficult to manage with your diagnosis?

I'm getting more and more time back with my oldest daughter. Every court date is hell for me.

i am glad you are getting more time back with your daughter even if it is very hard @Bentpole-01 . i find a number of things difficult but the hardest thing to manage with the bpd is the self harming issues for me and some of the self esteem issues that can come with it. i just find no matter what i do thoes things dont seem to improve but it could also be influenced by my other isses too so it is hard to tell.

Hey,

Yes, I try to see the good or positive outcome of the court process. I just feel completely on trial because I have had to provide evidence of my treatment for the last 3 years. This is dispite nothing ever happening between me and anyone as a result of my mental health.

Self harming I do also, I'm not ready to Stop it yet. It's a subconscious action for me. I don't know how to handle my abandonment issues. I get so upset and hurt that I feel everyone is leaving me and I feel completely alone. Even though I'm in the kitchen and the kids are in their rooms. I get very angry and rage a lot because I feel like no body listens to me.

Hi, so the last week has been pretty bad. I've fought with one of the kids every night for a week. She has ADHD and is medicated but she looses it every time she gets asked to do chores. She screams and shouts, slams doors and calls us names.

It triggers me and my rage kicks it, I'm sick if getting angry.

Any suggestions for managing myself and anger or to help parent our daughter.

@Bentpole-01 the anger issues are hard to deal with you just have to find something that settles you. for me it is swimming specfically being underwater i dont know why but it the best thing to calm me down also being somewhere cold is helpful as i have issue with temperatures. my other thing which is more accessible is music but you have to pick the right kind of music it has to be soothing not something that is going to rev you up. as for the child with ADHD i have a close family member with that and they always had a huge amount of trouble doing things like cleaning and chores. it can be helpful to make the task smaller by dviding it up into smaller parts. for example putting away the dishes after they are clean. start by say asking them to put away 5 dishes and after that they can have a break for 5-10 minutes then another 5 and so on. or turn it into a game of some kind. but it has to be something that doesnt feel stressful and that doesnt take a lot of mental organization. otherwise it will likely be met with refusal. if possible try and make it something physical as well. it isnt easy though and means you have to do a lot of organising yourself but gradually you can make the tasks more difficult. but never make it seem like it is a big job. good luck.

@Bentpole-01 thats a shame about the beach. i am ok very busy but ok.

Hey everyone, I'm really looking for some kind words and encouragement. It's been absolutely hell emotionally over the last 4 days. It's taken more than I have to give, I blow up this afternoon and went off in a rage. I punched a hole in the wall and hurt my hand by slamming the door so hard. I'm can't stand living like this.

I only have my partner to support me and I've damaged that relationship. I'm still hurt and angry because no one will listen to me and try to acknowledge that what I'm going through is real and valid .

Hey,

So have had a massive week. A lot of fighting and emotional reactions. Family dynamics are trying gain ground but not easy. My fiance had a good day today for her birthday. We had some kids free time so we went for a surf and I got to spend time outside in the garden. Went to dinner and kids were behaved.