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I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

whatnowCasual Contributor18 Apr 2016, 11:28 pm AEST

I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

Hi - I'm new to this forum. I just need to talk to someone who understands. Writing helps when things go south but everything starts all over again the next day and the next.

I am so, so sick of this rollercoaster - nothing seems to help... Therapy, group, medications, hospitalisations etc. The mood swings continue and have done so now for 9 years. This is not how I imagined my life. I do not want to be defined by my illness, but I am even in terms of how others view me. I have Bipolar II - the lows are the main problem for me and stop me from socialising, working or doing anything useful that I would like to do. I would really like to hear from other people how they survive and make friends etc when they are treatment resistant. I am on another downhill slide now and hate it as walking, music, meditation don't help to lift the mood for the day. My memory and concentration also suffer enormously. I don't want anymore formal information/"training" but I would like peer support and any thoughts on what helps, even if it means drinking a special tea!

Sorry about my whinge - hopefully next time I can be more positive..

5 replies

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In response to: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

AppleblossomSenior Contributor18 Apr 2016, 11:43 pm AEST

Re: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

I drink a lot more herbal tea than I used to .. though I dont prescribe it ..still like coffee .. but am moderating it.

Hello @whatnow I liked your title it made me smile quietly.

I havent had any luck making friends, I am just the crazy 'talk to everyone on the train' lady. Yesterday, I met a serious philosopher who had worked with the Aboriginals, a Columbian student and an Indian artist and writer. Conversations just start I am embarrassed and wasnt going to start them, but they were good chats for us all. I can tell when everyone is happy.

The philosopher told me about Alain de Botton coming to Melbourne .. so I bought tickets for my son and I .. I think he is relevant to the younger generation .. and I am curious ..

I dunno what the answer is. I just keep at it ...

In response to: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

HarvethCasual Contributor19 Apr 2016, 10:58 am AEST

Re: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

Hi whatnow,

I know how you feel. You get into a place where you feel like so much progress has been made, where the lessons you learn have been put into place, but then all of a sudden you have a bad day and it feels like it goes out the window.

It always sucks. I'd say the thing to remember is that you're trying; it sounds very cliche, but the difference between someone who is trying and someone who cannot (because they perhaps don't know how, or are in such a bad place that they are essentially paralysed) is a big difference. The very fact that you could write this in a forum is a good thing.

I don't have Bipolar myself, but when I was in the worst of my depressive phases, often I would try something very simple, easy and repetitive to keep myself occupied. It was never about improving, so much as coping until such time as my mood started to lift. Sometimes a downturn in mood needs to run its course (within reason) and simply coped with for a while. I know that mustn't be the best thing to hear, though 😞

In response to: Re: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

CherryBombSenior Contributor19 Apr 2016, 3:18 pm AEST

Re: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

Hi @whatnow,

I wish I could tell you something that would make things better, but in my own experience, and from what @Appleblossom and @Harveth have written, it's a tough slog.

Perhaps it is surving, getting back to basics while riding the dark stormy waves, with the aknowledgement that there are sunny days ahead. Dark days - like happy days - don't last forever, but holding on for sunny days, even if its just for a glimmer is worth it.

You mentioned that things have been like this for 9 years. Can I ask what life was like before then?

Welcome the Forums.

CherryBomb

In response to: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

DayatatimeNew Contributor25 Apr 2016, 8:55 pm AEST

Re: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

Hi there, I have Bipolar II also. I take vitamin D liquid syringes once a month, down the hatch or once every three months depends how bad you are and I take a big dose of fish oil instead of medication. I know the vitamin D really does help especially in winter. You need a script for this so ask doc about it. It's not a cure but it def keeps me more balanced. A psychiatrist recommended this as natural alternative as I wouldn't take the drugs. Hope this helps.

In response to: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

SehnsuchtSenior Contributor25 Apr 2016, 10:51 pm AEST

Re: I'm throwing my hands in the air :/

Hugs.

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