The Beer Garden

It's good not to be naive and gullible anymore @Faith-and-Hope It was a hard lesson, but it seems that we both have learnt. I spent so many years of my life being a "people pleaser" and always put myself last.

I can't put myself last anymore, I don't have the energy to. Finally I am looking after myself, not only for myself but for my daughter. Better late than never.

How is your day going so far?

I have to rush off again.

How is everyone elses day going?

Hi @BlueBay It was yummy. I'm usually strict with what I eat, but lately, I'm not caring. I need to get myself back on top again. Well, I'm not being silly about what I eat, but allowing myself a treat.

I shouldn't have sugar, because it affects my sleep, but oh well.

Nice to hear from you, have to rush now. xoxoxoxoxoxo

Hi @Former-Member ..... 😊💕

That's it exactly ..... it means you get to choose when to please people, and that becomes within the sanctity of caring relationships ..... as a gift that is both given and received with appreciation.

Do you know .... once people have been on the receiving end of that gift, and then you withdraw it because it wasn't appreciated and you were mistaken for a doormat ..... you have actually taken back power over your gift, and your choice about giving it ... ? .... and if they have interactions with you after that point, if they have any sensibility at all, they will recognise that that is what has happened.

You are now in a position to be able to be polite, but you are choosing to with-hold your natural tendency to be giving, loving, sharing ..... being polite is gracious ..... it does not incite rudeness, because if they respond rudely to your politeness, they look bad .... and people like that are usually all about saving face.

Your new reserve has become your privacy shield. If they try to engage you in conversation, you can give very brief, polite, but non-informative answers ...... and walk away still holding all your cards .....

I hope that helps @Former-Member .....

Create a mental picture of taking off your shoes and shaking the dust off them as you left the reception ..... leave them in your dust ..... reserve your mind-space for your daughter, hubby and yourself. Plan a little "shaking off the dust" excursion to a coffee shop or somewhere, and celebrate with your girl that you achieved clarity and re-empowerment.

💐☕️💕💐☕️💕💐☕️💕💐

Hi @Former-Member & @BlueBay

Yeah I know I dont catastrophise ... now .. I am going to remind people that I often understate ... and that if there is any strain in my voice when I make a request ... it is a need ... a REAL NEED. Tthe wind from my wind-tossed garden was actually a killer.... hmm.

how is your side of the bay @BlueBay?

I really needed to read your social skills post. @Faith-and-Hope Thanks

My truth is I had heaps of sensibility but there simply were not the resources to go round in our family.

Its calmed a little but too much for son to busk outside .. so he went into the mall .. but they are "good" with him .. as he "value-adds" to the shopping centre. He always has .. I did .. and that apple did not fall far from this tree.

Even though last week he was seriously abused and told to 'get a real job' by a couple of political candidates in a local govt by-election ... hmmmm .... if I ever see that dude .. I know what he looks like even tho I was not there ... cos he is plastered all over the net ... and son's story ADDS UP .. I will have a few terse & most sour words with him.

Hey @Appleblossom

The sky is looking very black at the moment. And it's still windy. I wanted to take the dog for a walk but that sky is telling me no. Yeah I have branches all over the front garden, hate this kind of weather. 😞

hope your afternoon is okay. xxoo

The northerlies were between 80-120 kph. Terrible about the tree that landed on the house in Milgrove.

I had a big square rubber thing blown into my garden ..

Back again. Mondays are a - driving here, there and everywhere day. With a little break in between.

Thankyou, again @Faith-and-Hope You are very wise, kind and caring. Funny thing is, I sometimes shake off "stuff", or pretend to brush it off me (the negative). Yes, I'm shaking it all off, that's for sure. The weekend just reminded me why I keep to myself alot. Yes, it would be nice to have a family, but not one that makes me feel awful. Looks like Christmas will be on our own again, but it's safest that way. Takes me too long to "get over it", can't do it anymore. Plus beforehand I really go downhill with worry about seeing them all. There are a couple of them in particular whom I am really struggling to get out of my mind. I really don't want to think about them at all, it helps not seeing them. A life time of sweeping things under the carpet isn't so easy to get over.

Now I need to get strong, so that I do have something to give, to those I want to give to.

I am a bit concerned about going to see the psychologist tomorrow. I haven't been there for 2 weeks now. I went downhill after my last appointment. I hope I'll be ok tomorrow. I will be. I will be positive about it.

Hi @Appleblossom and everyone else who is around.

Happy Birthday @Kurra??

Hope your appointment went well today. @Former-Member

I feel like a lemon, lime & bitters ..