Let down

After going to hospital appointments with a doctor since beginning of December onwards & practically begging for help & support- each time he told me they would give me support, he would organise a social worker for me & I should do the groups they offer- I would go home nothing would happen next appointment went exactly the same like Groundhog Day-

every appointment I went to I had to take my 7 year old daughter-( school holidays)- who sat in the room with me- although I did not feel comfortable discussing such traumatic things infront of her I gave her my phone to distract her & reluctantly did - all because of the promise of help!-which I knew I desperately needed!- this support, social worker & groups- (

these groups I attended when I had post natal depression & agoraphobia so badly after my daughter was born almost 8years ago that I could not enter the mother & baby unit at the hospital to get the help I needed because my agoraphobia was so bad it would not let me)-These groups were the main thing in my recovery back then from agoraphobia- so was really looking forward to going to them as they were the only thing that helped before.

I got a phone call yesterday saying I couldn't go to the group program- when I questioned why- I was told "IV already attended & been given the chance to learn the skills & it is not an ongoing thing that you can keep going back to "- I went 8 years ago!! I can't remember anything learnt back then & just because I went once 8 years ago doesn't mean I am cured for the rest of my life- I am just as bad- if not worse now- as my mother has died who was my support person & I have isolated myself from other family due to their ongoing abuse--mental illness has a cyclic nature of getting better & worse going round & round-& I have suffered so much trauma since then.

I asked about a social worker- the response I get was " What For?"-

i am so frustrated, & let down by the system I just want to give up--

& the worst part of it all is - I had exposed my daughter to everything that I said which I would NEVER NEVER NEVER do-BUT for the fact I was completely desperate for help & was being promised help that did not ever come- they discharged my case- no explanation-& now My DAUGHTER is suffering because of Being dragged along to these appointments & it was completely all for nothing.

I feel I have damaged my child by trying to get help for myself & have been turned away.

They tell me to contact a certain agency for help- which is the agency I have been having trouble with the support worker I was given & cannot get through to them at all & they don't call me back!

the support worker I had told me she would put in a request for a new worker for me on 2Jan when their office opened & a third party told me she did not do that like she told me but instead went on holidays & didn't put in the request & they just don't call me back at all & I am starting to really take it personally because how long does it take to contact someone who is clearly in distress & needs support?

I am so worried about my child because I can see a huge change in her-she is struggling at school- having trouble making friends and she has always been so happy confident & strong-& had so many friends & I feel responsible for taking her to the appointments that have eventuated in nothing!

I feel so let down by the system it is a complete waste of time & joke