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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Not sure i get the story @TAB
What happened?

But yeah it is what it is. I think more and more people experience loneliness than what they care to admit. That's the modern world hey

Howdy @StuF

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Guy wasnt all there? @MDT ie just grateful dunno

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

I think we're more connected in our loneliness than before

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ah okay @TAB
thought it may have been that, but wasn't clear.

I see your point.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

This is true @StuF

I just wish people weren't putting on so much BS

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I'm over here @saltandpepper

Yeah so Sunday was bad. I didn't want to do the zoom call with family because i am ashamed of who i am, i hate putting on a face and i can't handle talking to my extended family because I cringe on the inside everytime we speak. I think it's different in person though. But I always find family can be a challenge for me - not because they are bad people - far from it in fact. They are really good people.

It's just that I feel too many things come up for me when I'm there on the call.

The chat on sunday night started because i was annoyed with uni. I had to change my answers last minute. Which was annoying. But it was what it was. So then i got annoyed at uni and then at myself and then sort of just exploded.

I said to my parents and sister that i was over all these things in my life at the moment and that i felt ashamed and embarrassed.

my dad was quiet and didn't say much and then i asked him what he thought and he took it the wrong way and i just walked out. Went for a drive. My sister was worried so i said to come with me. We had a good chat.

During the dinner chat I said that whenever i wanted to go to the hospital in the past I had to say that I didn't feel safe at home because otherwise they wouldn't let me in. I had to lie about my situation to be taken seriously - or at least it felt that way. I was struggling with SI. That's the truth. I felt safe at home. Always have. It's just that I felt ignored in the past, or mis heard or not understood etc. I guess that's also true for the extended family thing too. I just feel silly or inadequate.

Anyway that's that. I don't wanna dwell on it. It's in the past. It's all reconciled I think.

Next Sunday I will do the zoom chat.

Work is just weird and there's no 2 ways about it. The vibe is weird, and our work is too. I'm just taking it as it comes. I get the impression they don't like me. I'm trying my best to do my job and I think they can tell I am struggling, or at least they think that. Idk...
Maybe even just holding out on my contract is what I need. Idk.
I am looking for work as well. Managing that. And interning - which is probably the only thing keeping me sane at the moment which is ironic.

I have to write up something now. and then I'll hopefully switch off. I guess my issue these days is that I am not switching on to begin with... I'm just on stand by mode. So I can't switch off.

Tomorrow is gonna be a day on my own i imagine in the office. I have flex hours to spend. I might bank them up. But from now on I'm not gonna get anymore. Just gonna be strict and get out when I can. I have read the vibe enough.

I'm babbling.

Thanks all for sticking by me these days

@saltandpepper @TAB @Shaz51 @Meowmy @BlueBay @oceangirl @Itjustme1 @Anastasia @Clawde and others following - sorry i never can remember all and that's why I usually just cut and paste.

Thanks all

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT I have noticed a running theme in your posts. You often mention you feel shame, or inadequate, and I wonder where that comes from? It comes across like you're putting enormous amounts of pressure on yourself, but why? Hams honestly, if I were half as strong, thoughtful, intelligent or successful as you, I'd be all sweet. Really man, I admire you. You get so far up in your head with all this, I wish you didn't, I wish you were content--proud even of everything you are and have done.

As for talking to extended family, eff that shit I say.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You're not babbling @MDT

I hear you.

I'm sorry you feel ashamed and embarrassed. I wish you could see yourself as we do. Go easy on yourselves Hams, you're one of the good guys ☺️

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Anastasia @saltandpepper

I'm gonna go bed. May get up early to watch soccer with dad dunno yet depends if the payment went through on the swansea website lol.
Work will be long and dull. Just waiting. See I think thats where I get the idea of work colleagues not liking me... "oh yeah we can make him do it" impression from. But meanwhile I am doing data info management too. That's good.

Yeah look idk what the answer is to that question about being hard on myself. I am like this or else nothing happens. That's how it is.

Idk.

Good night and thanks for your support 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Perhaps there are healthier ways to stay motivated to get things done? Rather than mentally beating yourself to a bl00dy pulp?

take her easy hey, get a good rest

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