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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ok @MDT want a laugh? Watch What about Bob prob on Netflix

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

In scheme of things am ok I just was losing plot last couple days @Shaz51 but thanx 😎😸

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ohhh hugs my @TAB , soory my friend, take care and I sm sitting with you too xxx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Its ok @Shaz51 haven't had much to occupy myself with then other week decided should be working then magically started sleeping around clock ha

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT the work self esteem is a struggle for me too. I have 25 years on you and the anxiety comes and goes, Thoughts of failure sometimes arise. I haven't 'done well' in conventional terms but I've hung in there with a desk job. On good days, I think actually that's an achievement. I'm independent and in my own place. Noone else knows what you're up against. I sense that you don't feel like it, but I think time is on your side. You can try different things. I hope the psych is good. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @frog

Yeah. There is a burden of time. Just seeing lots of people around me getting sorted etc. I am too. Definitely. But it just seems like it's never enough by the time I get there...

Anyway. Slow dull day today. About to head out of the building for lunch. I probably shouldn't spe d so much money but I despise working in this building crammed up all day. I need to get out of it.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia

I am angry and feel guilty

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

1) Life atm. I hate my job. I hate the fact that I have to do it to get "experience" and somehow move into a roll with a higher pay rate to finally feel better about myself. I don't believe in empty self esteem. Despite making headway into things the past year I am feeling like I am back in the same place.... Same problems...
2) Relationships and dating. I am on the verge of giving up on it all. It's borderline impossible to actually meet girls in Sydney outside of apps and such. I seem to fail with the mere idea of cold approaching. I don't have game and I can't fake it. I do really well at conversation and breaking down icewalls generally speaking. I even called off a meet tonight because I am tired of it all. I am unhappy. Idk what I even want.
3) Health. Both in terms of exercise and eating. My diet is slipping. I am eating out more because it gets me out of the office or place I am based.
Gym is boring. Personal trainers are too. I'm unmotivated because I see no benefit in working out unlike what I used to before. Why bother.. I don't get it..

My list for Wednesday

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia



In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

come on hams no point in beating yourself up just get through today, nearly finished work? go home and let it go @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hang in there @MDT . Do you have a hobby or activity you do enjoy to get into at these times? They really help to pass time until the mood lifts, and can help it to do so. Or a good movie after work? For me one of the things I like to do is find new recipes (Yummly or Taste.com are good websites) and cook them to share with people. Serves a dual purpose - keeps me occupied in a positive way and also good for my physical health.

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