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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT

I'm glad last year had some good workinng-out points - that's good to hear

But for dating - not so good but hey - why would you imagine things were any different or easier when many of us were young - when I was young even?

Boys put themselves out there

Girls put themselves out there

Girls sit in a row and look shy

The boys go outside and discuss the girls

The girls think they are not good enough for the boys

The boys think they are not good enough for the girls

No one wants to be knocked back

No one wants to be a loser (we didn't have that word then)

Everyone is so anxious they are just as likely to stuff it up

The confident boys might win the pretty girls but who knows if that's good?

The best people can be so scared they looked like terrified rabbits

And people go home thinking the worst

And this is what happened in 1956 - at church socials

And this happened in 2019 during speed-dating

Nothing's changed Hamza - dating is super-anxiety-biting - wow -

But it must happen because people pair-off

The more you worry about it the worse it can be - she's either out there someone - or she doesn't exist - but you are the same guy regardless

And I have been there and know it's soooooo frustrating

Dec

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Indeed @Owlunar
Indeed

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yes - it's true Hamza

But I doubt it makes you feel any better

We probably know the real you here - how can you project that person?

I wish I knew

Dec

Aw - dating is such a puzzle

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It is what it is @Owlunar

It's gotten better that's for sure.

Afternoon all

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey Hamsolo, hope you have a great year.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Guten tag Von Tab
@TAB

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Happy 2020 @Meowmy
🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

glad you are seeing improvement @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Anyone around

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia
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