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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Meowmy
You always have such supportove and encouraging messages for us here.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

a bit of hamso time needed maybe @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah I agree @TAB

I am really tired of things maybe idk

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT

Thanks for the feedback on your support - you know - it does come back to us - we are here to support each other but when we support each other we are learning to support ourselves - so it's a win-win situation

It's a pity what happened with the Star Wars flick - you can't help what people do - if it's payback then such childish behaviour relfects on him - not you - and he might have just forgotten and I know - it hurts - I hear you. You can feel like an ass if you like but you're not - as they say - 'it happens

Seeing New Year in with your oldier is okay - I see it in alone every year but to me it has always just seemed like a change of date - to other people it seems more important

Christmas Day is more like family time for me and this year I will spend it with my daughter and son-in-law - I hope to see my son-in-law's grandchildren the Sunday before but although my daughter has invited them they haven't hurried to answer - I would answer "YES" immediately to an invitation but that's life too

You are doing pretty well at this stage Hamza - much better than you did when you first started posting here - well done and all the best through the holidays

Dec

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

just regroup maybe, didnt mean become a hermit @MDT although .. sometimes it can be better to let people come to you, just go off the radar fro a while

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Owlunar

Thanks my friend. Yeah. I think it's almost like I have climbed a mountain... Now I'm looking for mountains everywhere maybe?

I just need to take a minimalist approach for the rest of the working year. As soon as I get off work I'll be good.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah family can be weird like that hey @Owlunar

My extended family can be like that too

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah. I mean I have a close friends outing next Friday @TAB
So that's good.
Like I got invited to a going away party two weeks back for someone I spoke to twice. Both instances were not longer than a sentence. Lol. That sort of thing I'm not into. Same with tonight. Got invited. But not gonna go. I barely know the person.
Balance is always important.
Meanwhile how is the weather tab?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ask @Owlunar but pretty sure if people you barely know ask you its no big deal if dont go, or if youre really keen,then go @MDT maybe pictures was same deal

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Family and mountains @MDT

I have two siblings I never see and don't want to see - I guess they think I am weird but they can if they choose too

I think my sil's kids are great but busy with other sides of the family which we all attract when we get married or partner-off - I never got on with my Mother-in-law - she was a widow for a long time and seemed to be unfriendly so it was no lose when I divorced her son that she fell of the radar - yeah

And I like climbing the mountains of life - well - thinking about it - and I have climbed a few - they are hard work but the view can be pretty amazing

And I am saying that while I am taking on another one

Yes - take the rest of the year quietly - you seem to have had the flu or something like it and that can take quite a bit of getting over

All the best

Dec

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