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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

she had a German grandfather . Theres some sort of weird connection. Maybe a sister type thing Anyhoo. @Appleblossom

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT. Starting something with someone is always emotional. If you're not ready or it doesn't seem right, best to be honest and back off. There's absolutely no shame in that.

What do you have planned today? Could you do one nice thing for yourself? Perhaps enjoy a coffee in the park or eat something for lunch that you really love? 🌻 🌻

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @Molliex
Not much planned today.
Other than a few updates on LinkedIn and maybe some writing to keep my mind at ease.

Yeah @TAB @Appleblossom
It is what it is.
I think being more in touch with what I want out of life generally as opposed to what I want in just a relationship or romantic context has gotten me where I am today. The dating and other stuff has come about because I have achieved and got things done in other areas of life. Catch 22 thing maybe.
I am an individual in the end and it's my choice. Perhaps that's something that was lost on many I grew up with. I'm not sure.
But I think having whatever this atm (whatever this really is) can teach and show me.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

it possibly has shown out past motivations @MDT ..keeping up with the Jones maybe? just be happy in yourself

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yeah true @TAB
Maybe it's actually okay atm. And it's just time to learn and understand....

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ok todays learning on netflix or wherever is watch Catch 22 the movie, also Dr Strangelove or how I learned to love the bomb, oh and Mrs Robinson lol @MDT

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey Hamso, it is hard starting out. It will work out. Take care

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Keeping your mind on getting the best from life rather than a partner is a good idea. It will allow you to see possible partner as WITH YOU IN LIFE rather than setting up polarising and immature expectations. It does take courage and some readiness to risk but also wisdom to find ways to understand what you are doing and who to trust.

Love your posts @MDT Keeps me feeling positive about younger generations.

@TAB We have different connections with diff peep. I think thats the way its meant to be, but I dont believe the world is divided into good empaths and violent nasties.

Yes EMPATHY is important.... Comapssion, Understanding, or I get it... whatever. Many empaths have not been able to open their hearts to me as they had too cushy a life, and to listen to me would be too confronting for their self image. They just wanted me to agree with ... There re exceptions everywhere. Also most nasties, even Hitler had reasons.

I got bullied by my beloved abandoned baby brother who played the Hitler card to win endless arguments in Toastmasters etc ... and then with me when All I wanted to was to see he was alright. Silly rich boy.

Yeah brothers ssters bosom buddies ....

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

well the email woman msged me yest asking if I were still alive, txt woman says things not good so hasnt been in touch, however, fb messenger woman (sister of departed madwoman I used to shower with largesse back in the day) yes all connections individual to some extent. thanks for your post @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

My sister and I have our moments where we argue and get at each other but overall we have a good family friendship. Her 18th birthday was terrible as no one came. I cried for her. I was very angry.
I don't tell people because I don't want empathy or to seem like I am cute or some crap. I was just genuinely angry and hurt for her. She has been through heaps of physical illness.

At work I heard a story of a son being violent to his mum. I see lots of things happen in family life with the work i am doing. It's really sad. It breaks my heart that a mum just wants what is best for her kids and they turn on her like that.
One of my regrets when I was a kid was not levelling another kid who called my mum a female dog (you know the term). I was only 10. But I wish I taught the kid a lesson that he doesn't call my mum that.

Anyways. I am thankful for a good home life.

I see people my own age lose their minds over sex and romance. Just going from person to person... It's not good for the soul I don't think.

Anyway.

I am rambling

@Appleblossom@TAB

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