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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDTYes It's hard on the days off when you get caught up in stuff in the house. I plan on relaxing to get through and getting energy for the good parts 🙂

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey mate

Not sure if you saw @Maggie 's mind map @MDT

I need to learn how to put the right feelings away into the right drawers.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I like that @Appleblossom @Maggie

Very visual and it incorporates things into it. I might emulate it and do something similar

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

i like that @Appleblossom

heyyyy @MDT xx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey shazzy @Shaz51
How goes it

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sorry your feeling low @MDT hope tomorrow is better for you

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hugs my friend @MDT

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @Former-Member @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Former-Member @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Queenie @utopia @Scarecrowe

afternoon everyone. Making an earlier sunday post today.

I feel a bit lost lately. I'm not sure why. Maybe it really is just the adjustment that's finally kicking in. For the most part I think I've coped with it all rather well.

I'm beginning to see the value in patience with myself. This is perhaps something I have struggled with A LOT in the past few years.

This impatience breeds a sense of insecurity in who I am, where I'm heading and what I think about myself.

Now that things are "more together" if I can use that expression I am beginning to look to other areas of my life that need improving.

I need to stop beating myself up and over the head about things.

I need to stop imaging horrible, bad and tragic scenarios.

I need to start being kinder to myself and patience with myself.

I need to actively acknowledge how far I have come since 2012 (when i was first diagnosed)

But on top of that I think I need to just live in the moment a bit more. Maybe some meditative exercises would help with that the most. Thursday and Friday just gone I needed to sleep for 45mins during the day as I just felt exhausted. Maybe because of my sleep pattern I'm not so sure.

There will always be new stressors in life from now on so I want to learn how best to counter them and balance them.

Any help or suggestions are always welcome.

thanks again forumites 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

you are doing really well @MDT and you only seem to get down when not working or after a few days? perhaps you need something to fill in those times a bit more?

.. Also .. you are not a diagnosis? okay thats a bit contentious maybe, but you were at a stage back then and went to people, who to be honest, were only ever going to diagnose you .. just sayin ..

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

A really insightful message @MDT Thanks so much for posting.

As you said there will always be stresses and problems in life that we have to deal with no matter how much we try to make sure there won't be.

I loved and agreed with all your mantras. And it is a huge step for you to know that these steps you need to take. And if you needed to sleep Thursday and Friday well nothing wrong with that. In some countries around the world a 'siesta' is a normal daily routine. If you need a sleep have a sleep. No different to when you feel hungry even if it is not a normal meal time. Hungry, then eat something (if possible). Tired, then have a nap (if possible). Nothing wrong with that at all.

The main thing I think is always remember that little steps forward are actually huge steps. Take it one step and one day at a time. Don't try to fix or change everything all at once. That just causes more stresses and problems in my opinion. And when you take another step forward (no matter what that step is) be proud of yourself. Pat yourself on the back, treat yourself in some way.

Rome wasn't built in a day my friend.

Reading your post I can tell you have come a long way all ready.....there maybe a long way to go........but I know you can achieve your goals......your post suggests you are determined to get there.

I send my blessings to you my friend. I hope today is a good day for you even though you said you are feeling a little lost.

Just remember we are all here for you to help in anyway we can.

Take care and keep smiling and be strong

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