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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Working at elections @utopia thanks my friend. It's progress.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Well. I had a good day catching up with an old uni friend. This morning just chilled out. Psych tomorrow. Then got home and sister has a go at me because I tell her to clean up. Then the sky falls in.... I said talk to me in 30mins when I won't say something I regret and she can think about why I'm annoyed.
She acts like a little kid at times. With all she's been through you'd think she could manage small duties and responsibilities.

@utopia @Shaz51 @outlander @Sam3 @Zoe7 @TAB @BryanaCamp

Anyway. This will get resolved I trust. Just kind of ruins a giod day is all

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

not worth 'ruining day' for @MDT just rewind and stay away maybe

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Don't let her ruin a good day @MDT You are in control of your reactions and if she is not pulling her weight then that is not your problem. It is hard not to feel like you are when you are the only one home with her but she has to own her own behaviour and you can't do that for her. Just do your own thing and avoid her as much as possible whilst you are feeling like this - it will be better for both of you to have some distance rather than it turning into an unwanted argument.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

she told me she has been feeling rank lately @Zoe7 @TAB and felt like ending it all. She was sitting on the railing on the edge saying she's gonna do it. But like.... that screams of help and I know because I've been there myself so it wasn't overly serious. But I just spoke to her on a real level. She feels really crap but the evidence suggests she's doing okay. She's about to get her license and also has some good mates from her employment services group.

Overall she needs her psych to get their act together. So I said to talk about this with her psych. She wanted a hug after which I did lol 🙂

She's fine. She just pushes herself heaps. Sound familiar? lol

Anyways. All good now.

She just needs some time to figure other shit out. It doesn't help that mum is up the coast but so what.. that's life.

I said to her that after all the stuff she's dealt with, that getting a job and keeping friends is easy. All the doubts she has are baseless

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It does sound familiar @MDT

You have done the right thing by being there for her and by telling her to talk to her psych about what is going on for her. You cannot shoulder all this yourself and her psych needs to work with her to get to a place that she can feel better herself.

It is hard though seeing a family member feeling like that but it is important you don't take on her feelings yourself.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

nah i can separate where needed but also be constructive and helpful. that's my role as her older brother and it always will be

In the end I am definitely proud of her though 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

They are beautiful words & sentiments below @MDT ....I so wish my big brother was like that (did I mention he’s a psychiatrist...and a barrister ...and a hospital executive director ...and someone who chooses not to speak to me or my family (oh the stories I could tell about his choices.....).

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

That would be a good casual job - working on the elections @MDT . Well done on landing it.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@utopia@outlander@Shaz51@Zoe7@oceangirl@TAB@Sam3@BryanaCamp@eudemonism

Off to the pysch this afternoon. We are working on employment and work based trauma/difficulty from the past. As a result of working on this in sessions I'm hoping that we can make some progress. Now that I have landed a casual gig with the elections a bit of that initial pressure is no longer there so at least I can focus on the specifics of it all now.

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