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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Zoe7
I just feel sorry for myself at times. Just sad and upset.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

dont give it oxygen @MDT Get to sleep Go to work Buy Big
Macs lol

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

what a nice post @Meowmy @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It becomes a slippery slope when we do that constantly @MDT It is quite okay to feel that way sometimes - we all have down days whether we are dealing with a MI or not - the trick is to allow ourselves to appreciate the good we have as well and balance life out with the here and now as well as future goals. They don't need to be big ones - mine is getting back to the beach with Toby when the weather improves. It is a little thing in the scheme of things but a massive step for me. I stopped going because my anxiety was too high being around people. Since then I have returned to work and am around people everyday so the next step is the beach. Small things but major wins.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Only 1 or 2 @MDT They are few & far between.

I've been in the same place for 17 years @TAB

No plans on moving, even though the neighbours are terrible - extremely loud (noisy) & disrespectful.

I moved 10 times (at least), in the 10 years before that.

Moving often is too stressful.

Adge

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I was in hell hole re neighbours for 8 years @Adge , also did boarding in 30s which was a disaster then when in well paid work spent a fortune on motels and holiday accom when not at work ha i really didnt want to commit @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks for sharing and chatting @Zoe7 @Adge @Meowmy @TAB

There is a loneliness epidemic these days. I am a big believer in being nice to strangers. Or salespeople on the street. I won't buy their stuff but I'll have a chat to them anyway. It's not the nicest thing putting up with people.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

Hamza my friend I don’t like seeing you feel sad and lonely. Don’t forget all your friends on here. Hugs xxx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I am much the same @MDT but tend to avoid social situations if I can mostly. There wasa time that I was much more social - would do things, talk to anyone and not think twice about who it was. I have certainly gone into my shell more as I have got older - and that is nothing to do with age itself but more experiences and a greater sense of what I actually want/need in my life. It is easier being on one's own and whilst most will say we need human connections - how we achieve that is different for everyone. I have those connections through work and of course through here but I also value my space, my security and safety of home. There are different priorities in my life now and way down the list are needing or even wanting too many people around me. This is something that my pdoc and psych have challenged me on many times but I always stay the same in my views - we don't all need to be social animals to have fulfillment in life ...I have had that and there were times that I was happy but also times I was not - it is very much dependent on what you want.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @BlueBay
You are a good friend 🙂

Forumites are great people here. We are always supportive. 🙂
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