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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT, just jumping into the conversation. Nice to meet you! 🙂 It sounds like you’re doing so much to take care of yourself. I’m interested in you saying you don’t want to talk to new people because of feeling uneasy about who you are, could you say more?

This is something that has prevented me from socialising a lot lately, being so ground down by my depression that I don’t really know who I am, it just becomes hard to have any sort of conversation, especially when meeting new people.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hello and hugs @soft_edges , @MDT , @Zoe7 , @Sam3 , @eudemonism

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Job fi nished now road still closed so upside is 26hrs pay min vs was 10 originally

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Sounds like it's sorted itself out @MDT good work

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @soft_edges @Sam3 @TAB @Zoe7 @eudemonism @Shaz51

I had a pleasant evening last night. Cooked up some food. Sister was about too. So not totally quiet.
I watched Lincoln. Good film. Would recommend it. Spoke to an old friend from Warsaw who I miss haha!
This morning I am juts at the local coffee shop. I have dropped my sister at the train as she is hanging out with some friends today.
When I get back home I need to work on two applications. Due tomorrow because I ran out time over the past week. I pace myself with this stuff so I need to break it up. So I do this today and tomorrow don't need to do much in this area til Tuesday. Basically trading weekend hours across.

As for ways to improve my self worth and how I view myself @Sam3 @soft_edges
I start by looking at my progress and where I am atm. What I've achieved and how that weighs up despite my mental health. But in the times where I feel terrible I always try to remember that thoughts and feelings aren't always accurate. So I need to disassociate.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Extra pay is always good @TAB

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Just got told am not smiling @MDT lol

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It sounds like your decision not to go out last night was a good one @MDT and you are pacing yourself with the job applications.

I am especially pleased you spoke to your Warsaw friend - that brings a little light to your day

Just had an early lunch here and am watching a true crime show - very interesting as it is pretty close to home and lots of the places in it are very recognisable - makes it a lttle eery in-fact to watch but it has been a case that has been widely known for a long time and I am interested to see how it is all put together for tv.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It sounds like you’ve been doing some really nice self-care this weekend so far @MDT. I do the same with job applications, breaking it up over several days, because otherwise I find the process of trying to sell myself incredibly demoralising.

And yeah, it’s really good to be able to use those quiet moments to get some perspective on progress. I see it most when I’m in a good habit of journaling, and being able to look back over my ups and downs, and see how my current coping strategies are helping. Best of luck to you with the applications!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT people problems have always been at the centre of my mhi... is it them with the problems??? Or is it me with the problems??? Although it's all in my mind... it is also focused around family, friends, community... it's the reason i isolate myself so much... I engage with other people only when necessary... its a fine line between not enough and to much... be anti social or be overwhelmed??? I'm forced to go to them alot of the time... because i doubt they'll come to me... -and i don't really want or expect them to come to me...
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