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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

A little yeah. @Gazza75

I resolved the only reason I'm still here is because of the pain that suicide causes for others would be too hard for others to love through..
Even if that isn't enough to find me a job etc... It's enough to keep living.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Just cleaning up my room a bit and going to do some washing @Gazza75

Shower as well.

Gym was okay. I made it at least so that's two in a week which is good. I am aiming for frequency over quality at this point...

In terms of jobs there is only one thing undergoing the process of clearance. So it's been a long time but maybe that's a good thing. The wait is hard and long. But it's not a no so I guess that's a good thing.

I need to get in touch with the recruitment company again. See what happened. It's been a week since I spoke to them and nothing so I'm afraid the opportunity has gone elsewhere.

I must be failing at some elements of it all but right now idk if that's something I want to look into.... Could just be paranoia on my part

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

dont know what to suggest @MDT be safe

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT, I'm glad getting some of the angst out helped a little.

It's a tough situation you are in and a real struggle. I'm glad you have your family and friends to support you and live for. I think family can kind of cut both ways at times and can magnify problems more than might be the case if you were alone.

Maybe you could look at getting away for a few days soon and just take a time out for yourself? I don't know if its practical for you to do that. The only other thing I can suggest is to try and slow down your thinking and don't dwell on to many things at the same time.

Are you sleeping ok?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I'm sleeping alright yeah @Gazza75
I had nightmares and woke up all sweaty the other night though.
I need to rebalance.

All good @TAB
I am one with the force.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Tbh @Gazza75

All I want to do today is work on the business website and eat lunch. Then play pc.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

take it easy @MDT just watching Frasier here, had pie and pastie(award winning, yet microwaved lol) nap soon

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT, replying to your last post.

I must be failing at some elements of it all but right now idk if that's something I want to look into.... Could just be paranoia on my part

Very hard to know, but, it might be worth trying to get some feedback from the agency if you can. Maybe get them to do a 'mock interview' with you and see if there is any areas you can improve in. I would try and get more than one person to do it as the more feedback you get the better.

Also sometimes people doing interviews don't pay that much attention to details. I've been on both sides of the process and have sat in with people from HR when they have done it. Often they are very scripted with large companies. (I imagine government depts would be far worse) They will have a question set and don't deviate much from it.

I'm usually very direct and throw in some of my own. For me, I want to know why should I give you the job and not someone else? I don't care about experience as most things can be learnt, its more about wanting to do the role and being passionate about it.

Also I would try and ask questions of the person doing the interview, about the business and some of the expectations they might have. Hope that gives you some ideas and things to ponder.

Gazza

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

What PC games are you playing @MDT ? I played skyrim for a good while. I had it installed for ages, but, never got into it for some reason. Very good game. I also like the assasins creed series. Haven't played the last 2 so much. Have them on PS4. One of my fav games is GTAV.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@TAB has left the building
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