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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ok @Former-Member

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You are having a difficult day with a lot of negative thoughts @MDT and that is okay but you have also had some better days when all this seems more attainable. I know it is hard to hold onto those when it all gets on top of you buddy so give yourself some time away from thinking about work today. It can be all encompassing when the knock backs build up and you feel like you are failing ...but you are not - you are doing everything possible to find work but the nature of the market is that it is hard when you are starting out - that is a failure of the system not of you. Before I did teaching I also had a degree that left little job prospects ...I did get a part time role in my area but had to look for other work as well - so I did two part-time jobs ...one of them was very far from what I intended to do but actually became the most rewarding - so there was a silver lining from somewhere really unexpected. Sometimes there are things that do come along in our lives that change our area of interest or perspective also. That all lead to me moving to another state, travelling and coming home to study teaching at 30 - so my life as I know it now is very different to the one I expected. What I am saying is don't give up - around every corner is a new road to travel and just maybe you haven't found that yet.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

i hope so @Zoe7

Atm it feels like I am on a roundabout.... no corners or new roads... just the same crap

sorry again

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It is hard to keep the faith when you feel like you are on a roundabout @MDT - hearing you buddy. Today is just one of those days when it is all feeling so overwhelming for you - so take some time for yourself - forget about work, interviews, applications. etc. for today ...you also need a balance with life as well. It is exhausting doing all that work all the time and seeming to be getting nowhere but it is more than okay to take a break from it too. Sometimes we need to stand back from what is haunting us and reset a little ...maybe that time is now for you.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey make sure rest well. But do something positive when you can. If really down ,can always call for help like helpline or parents or sister or friends. We all been through despair . But we will get through. Don't worry, the force is with you. Haha

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

sorry @Zoe7 @Meowmy

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

There is nothing to be sorry for @MDT We would not be here with you and supporting you if we did not want to and your feelings are just as valid as anyone elses. It is tough when we feel depressed and unwell at the same time - so go easy on yourself buddy.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT please write on a piece of paper all the goodness, valuable qualities in yourself, you are worthy to us and to yourself. ATM you are not seeing yourself clearly. You are letting social pressure getting to you. You are more than social pressure. You are more than any job. Please take care

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Former-Member please check if this post is ok or delete.

@MDT

im sorry you feel so bad but I’m proud of you for giving it a year! A lot can change in a year. I’ve set dates many times before and even if people don’t understand it, I sometimes get more energy or try new things, when I know there’s an end in sight. It’s really hard to explain and it makes some of my care team freak out, and I know I shouldn’t make it a routine. I don’t have a specific date in mind at the moment, and my last one (6 months) has just passed. I find it’s more like a promise to stay alive for another year.

I hope things will brighten up for you a little soon x

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

i do know what you mean exactly @Former-Member

don't worry - I know what you are getting at 🙂
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