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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hoping so @Zoe7

A bit of a crappy week here. Glad to see the end of it if I am honest.

I managed two gym visits which was a great leap for me as I was struggling to attend regularly.

Today I submitted my second long form piece as well for the writing gig I have.

Put off job search til Monday. Can approach it with a fresh mind that way.

So here we are at the end of another week 🙂

Afternoon to
@Shaz51 @Sophia1 @outlander @oceangirl @TAB @Ant7 @Gazza75 @BryanaCamp @BlueBay @Doglover @Bunniekins @Meowmy as well 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Just read about your week here @MDT so no need to reply on Far and Away

It might be good for you to just chill and enjoy the weekend and put this week behind you - start fresh on Monday. We all need those breaks occasionally to recharge our batteries a little. My day yesterday turned into a rest day and it honestly helped me a lot today. I feel like I can do heaps tonight so I can chill a bit more over the weekend when I need it.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT hey , glad you are relaxing for a bit. Think that is important. May be think about what other activities during this period apart from job searching. You are doing well and deepening your character and experiences. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I agree with @Meowmy ... @MDT

Hi @Meowmy How was your day Hon?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah I will take it easy this weekend @Zoe7

I do believe that we are having a dinner chat tonight at home about next year that will be useful.

I won't go to the gym tomorrow as my friend is away. That's good as I will be watching the cycling tonight. I can read my book atthe same time hopefully finish the damn thing lol.

I am alright with things atm. Back to where I was - where things could be better but they could (and have) been worse

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

That is some progress @MDT We have so many ups and downs that it is good to recognise when we are actually doing okay - and okay is often a real positive.

I will be watching the footy tonight - can do that while I do some work. Not that interested in the tdf more a ball sports kind of girl

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Zoe7 hey Sorry darling, how are you going? I am okay still at work,crawling through. Hope you will have a good evening. Take care.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

You have nothing to be sorry for @Meowmy Nice to catch you this afternoon

I am home from work but have a lot to do tonight and over the weekend - has to be done though so will be spending my weekend planning, organising things and watching footy.

Hope you get through the rest of work okay and can enjoy some down time on the weekend

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi @MDT , I encourage you to be gainfully employed in volunteer work asap. I worked a volunteer position for 15 months straight. Yes, it is not paid. But it pays big dividends. It gives you purpose and immediate experience in being needed, performing professionally and productively and within a team and for management. That is two Key Selection Criteria in any job application, right there: 1. Team player. Can work effectively, independently and as part of a team. 2. Communicates effectively with key stakeholders in both written and verbal communication, with customers/clients, team members, team leaders.

You're going to waste by not going to a volunteer position one or twice a week. I have complex mental health issues and a 7 year gap of unemployment in my history. Yet, after proving myself as a volunteer, I got 2 new library jobs recently. I hope you will follow my example and act on my advice. From 15 months experience, I can assure you that weekly Volunteer work gives you a reason to get up in the morning, improves your employability & job-interview performance & improves your mental health and self-esteem. You have given the job application lifestyle a good go for a long time & at times it has crushed your self-esteem & has made me very sad & you very depressed, cyclically.

Now I believe it is time for you to act, I feel that albeit kind, you've placated me with words such as, "I will look into it, " and that has unfortunately been to your own detriment. I do not feel that Volunteering with homeless people is a cool thing for you to do one day as you have communicated to me several times, I feel that Volunteering is a goal you would benefit from doing practically asap.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Haha yeah it's a lot of tactics in tdf @Zoe7
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