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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Um yeah, but.. @Zoe7.. anyway I am ‘white’ I am not privileged. I have seen peoples net worth and self esteem go to moon on sales ability , huge financial support and minimal skill hey come one come all

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Do you agree with it? @Zoe7

I find it very toxic to assume someone has privilege because of their skin colour.

I really don't support it.. hence the sarcasm.

I've been told it before and it's utterly damaging. Luckily I have a thicker skin and don't care.

I have to honest about that.

I think I get where you are coming from re language and such. I'm just confused is all

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I understand you do not support it yourself @MDT but I think we have to be very careful when using sarcasm also alongside such terms. The fact that such terms even exist in society allows for those who do agree with it to further their own views. While I totally respect that you were being sarcastic I personally (and I emphasie personally as this is not to be a reflection on you at all) find it offensive that it could be even joked about. 'White privilege' and all that that entails is so easily used in a discriminatory way still in our society in certain parts and by certain people and much like any racist, religious or LGBT jokes are inappropriate. I feel that anything that suggests 'white' bias is also unacceptable. This is a wider conversation that has to happen within our society - making light of such things I personally find offensive an in all conscience cannot and will not support it being used even in a joking manner. I find joking about such things is the same as sitting on the fence - you either agree or disagree and in this case I definitely disagree with the concept of 'white privilege' - equality for all can only be achieved, I believe, when everyone is seen as an individual regardless of their race, religion, sexual orientation or indeed their position in society.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I agree with the points you make @Zoe7

I have a sardonic sense of humour and I use it when I'm down. That's all.

I appreciate what yous re saying though and do agree with it 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Not everyone does feel the same way unfortunately and therein is where the issues in society lie. To effect real change we need to live by what we believe and not be afraid to stand up for our values.

I am sorry that you are feeling down tonight but I can understand it after the disappontment of not getting that job. It seems that you interviewed well though and they are keeping you in mind for future roles - that doesn't take away the disappointment but it certainly is a positive in it all.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

YEah it came down to experience - a common theme these days @Zoe7

I'm annoyed at my past self tbh but it is what it is

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I have told you this before but will say it again @MDT - we can all see here how much you have to offer and totally believe in you. You have put so much effort into finding work and although it came down to experience this time it is a positive that you are still being considered for further roles - that is down to you and how well you must have presented at the interview.

It is never easy dealing with any kind of rejection but you can also only look forward from here because you cannot change the past - I know that as much as anyone

It is hard to take but you are now getting interviews and by all accounts doing well in them. It will come buddy - it is super tough out there but you are doing so much more to help yourself than some do so hopefully that will pay off for you soon.

You definitely have our support here

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Indeed @Zoe7
Support here is excellent.
Thats why I love coming back here. They said I interviewed well which is good. I am glad about that.

Atm though I'm just feeling defeated by it. Like I chose thgwe wrong thing to study etc.

Idk. Many renumerating thoughts.

I am seeing people around me meet success. I am wondering if it will come to me.

Effort is one thing but the other half is luck. I feel I have none of that.

Why is t everywhere people are getting into their area of choice and enjoying their 20s. I am nearly 26 and yet to get anywhere in life. I feel like I'm tanking.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

seeing stuff on tv etc in these days need to break barriers @MDT however that happens just go for what you really want and focus

well plus apply for all the other jobs same time ,,,,

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

What do you Mean? @TAB
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