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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@BryanaCamp Thanks for your message & apologies for the late reply. Sorry to read you had demotivation that day. I feel it often too but for me it’s accompanied by flatness rather than irritability. Hopefully you’ve had some easier days since then. Work & family life have been going smoothly thanks until this weekend. My brain has been producing unhelpful derogatory & anxiety-provoking thoughts. I’ve managed pretty well by just accepting them (ie observing/labelling them) & refocusing on a task or my breathing etc Trigger is an overseas trip alone to my nephew’s wedding. Not really worth a major setback for so it will be interesting to see if I actually get on that plane or not. Remind me to never trust my judgement!!!!

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Not in the best place myself tonight @MDT but wanted to let you know I hear you and hope tomorrow is better for you. It is difficult when our confidence takes a hit and things around us do not seem to be panning out as we wish but you are a strong, intelligent and capable young man and we are very fond of you here so keep reaching out and search for that hope and belief in yourself again.

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Hi Hamsolo01 sorry to hear that you are not feeling great atm. Hopefully you will wake up this morning feeling a bit better. Looking forward to our imaginary coffee with @Meowmy this afternoon. xxxx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hey @Sam3 !!!! Lovely to see you, I've missed you. I've got 2 new library jobs & have been trained up & enjoying it all. I'm getting up at 6am for work and it's making my medication work better.

A solo plane trip sounds very brave. I'm sure you'll enjoy it once you get there & partake in the festivites but I can understand your anxiety in the lead up, I'd feel the same. Glad you family & work life is going well, well done you.

Pay no attention to those derogatory thoughts, you're a wonderful, caring & strong person and you're doing awesome with all your responsibilites and managing your MI.

Lovely to see you hon x

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

morning @MDT sorry to hear you're struggling with depression, that sux. Hope you got a better night's sleep & will feel a bit better today.

I know I've said it before but I think volunteering once a week would help with your mental health, it puts you out there in the social world, makes you feel capable & productive and gets you out of your self-destructive thoughts & out of the house. At least that was my experience. You're extremely hard working & concientious with your job searching but I worry that focusing on that a lot of the time may be feeding into your anxiety about employment so a big distraction like volunteering may help to break it up & get some perspective?

Hang in there, thinking of you today.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

makes sense @BryanaCamp hope things better @MDT

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @BryanaCamp for your kind nd words. Sounds like you’re doing brilliantly with your 2 library jobs & other commitments. Sorry to hear the depression is affecting you atm @MDT I just spent a sleepless night with my unhelpful thoughts so I know how it can grip you. It’s tough to ride it out but things will change - they always do. Not sure what your triggers are but it might be good to remember that EVERYTHING you do counts including how you kindly & generously share on this forum. I would have to do volunteering or something similar in your situation because I’m always better when I’m out of the house & socialising even if I don’t feel like doing it. Can you identify with this - I’ve just spent thousands to go to my nephew’s wedding but now that it’s near it’s triggering my mental health so I may forfeit everything! What do you think is best & how can I decide?! Have a good day if possible - sending you warm sunshine @BryanaCamp @MDT @TAB @Bunniekins @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

can relate @Sam3 I spent ooos years ago to go to visit friend then he pretty much made known he didnt want to see me. got some refunds not others.

I would go if you could, well are tickets transferrable? use later ? or get drs letter?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi all. Thank you for your kind hearted words and encouragement.

I had a decent sleep last noht complete with a few dreams. Definitely better than the night before.

Today I play taxi to drop sister at gym so I will get a coffee then. Off to groceries and gp for more meds.

Then back home and might do some job search let's see how we go.

I am feeling better than last night. Eating a decent brekky now too.

@Zoe7 @Sam3 @BryanaCamp @TAB @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Really glad to hear you're feeling a bit better today @MDT Hope your plans for the day go smoothly. Great to see the support you have here. I know how much it can help.

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