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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

even just a walk around the block is better than nothing @BryanaCamp

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Enjoy your time at the gym @MDT . I think today is going to be a great day.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I like the positive attitude @utopia

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hey @MDT

Hope your day continued to be alright. You are doing all the right things. I know its hard to get established and so much in life can be repetitive. Hearing your weariness about that, but also your maturity.

I was at the zoo for a few hours today. Even though I know it does me good. I still have to drag myself there. Thems the breaks.

Cheers mate

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hey @Appleblossom thanks for that 🙂

I've felt a bit tired all day actually. Not depressed which is nice. Just tired. Sent out some enquiries about esl work today. Feeling demoralised at myself - but I guess this is nothing too new given what I'm dealing with.

I have my psych tomorrow. Hopefully going to be a worthwhile appointment.

I'm feeling like I'm lagging behind on where I could right now in my life and career. Just stuck on how to change that. That colleague I reached out to last week still hasn't gotten back to me.

Idk. I'm going to tune out from all of this crap for now. Just playing a game for an hour or so. Might come back to it after.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Waiting for call backs is hard.

That is the reason why I like the tennis pro metaphor /// just keep hitting the ball ... networking ... etc ... something might turn up from another corner, unexpected, or even more suitable, but, also give yourself down time ... as the the actual game of tennis is a small part of the time in a pro's life.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I like @Appleblossom 's analogy of the tennis game @MDT You are putting in so much energy to get things moving in a positive direction and that is all you can do. It often seems like nothing positive is happening but you are putting yourself out there and that is important. Hoping something comes up for you soon though buddy - your deserve that with all the effort you are putting in

@BryanaCamp Hope you at least got out for a walk today even if you didn't get to do a hike - baby steps are still steps Hon and are a positive in your day

@Appleblossom I hear you about the motivation to actually get up and moving - I am finding that hard in the mornings but once I get to work I find a little more energy. The busier I am the quicker the day goes as well.

@Sam3 Thnking about you and wondering how your new job is going - would love to hear all about it and also how you are feeling

@utopia Always lovely to see you around and being so positive

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hi gang, thanks again for your support, it's so lovely to have people who understand. I did manage to go for a 10km hike, although I munched out on sugar afterwards thru the afternoon, just so tired and sugar-cravy. It was kinda a battle to wash my hair & brush my teeth but got there.

@MDT I really admire your tenacity & stamina, you're doing such a great job every day of seeking out opportunities. Something is bound to come up, it's in the probabilities! How are you today?

@Zoe7 hope your working days are continuing to be lovely with good people & interesting tasks. Thank you for your support at what must be a very busy time for you.

hi @Sam3 are you back at work, how are you travelling?

I've gotten up today & got ready for a big meeting (an interview), I've had loads of coffee to help with energy and fingers crossed I perform ok in it!

Great to see you're feeling positive @utopia, hope today is a great day for you!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @BryanaCamp
Today I see my psych. Will raise all of this with him. I think my tenacity is slowing down. But that's how it is. I'm getting demoralised with my situation tbh. So I can raise this one too.
But thanks again for your well wishes. I hope your day is gkid

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hey @MDT , how was your psych appointment today?

Totally understand that you're feeling weary with trying. Totally get it. I had given up entirely when I heard this weird noise and it was my mobile phone. Weirder still, it was someone inviting me to do a job interview. "They must have made a mistake!" I thought, then "wow how exciting!" I thought. It had been weeks since I had submitted job applications and I had given up all hope. Then I got a call. After a whopping 7 years of unemployment - how did they not notice my gaping hole of 7 years in hibernation??

So don't lose hope, my friend, it takes time. People interviewing for jobs have to go through all sorts of processes and it takes weeks, especailly in the bigger organsisations. You'll get there. It is tough waiting and if you have depression it is bound to lead to thoughts of depression and even hopelessness, that's the nature of negative thinking. But stick at it, you're a very valuable person to have in the workplace with a proven track record of outstanding outcomes (your old students!!) so go ahead with confidence that you're an asset to any employer.

hello also to others on the thread. @TAB how are you going today?

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