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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

7645 replies

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Hope4me
I am feeling okay about it this morning. Just going to read over my application and answers I gave in the written part. That way I'm prepared

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Well I'm glad that's over.
I think I butchered it. Don't even want to think about it anymore.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Feeling for you @MDT . Can you do something to take your mind off it. See it as an exam maybe that once it’s over it’s over and you just wait to see how you went.

Im having a moment of something like that just now, something big is over and I need to let it go, easier said than done. I hope your doing something fun now to help let go. I’m writing here to let go 😳😊💜

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah @Teej
Im also remembering instances where I have done okay in interviews. Just accepting what it is seems to be the best way forward.

I am just over it. Not the process because that's what needs to be done. But I mean my lacklustre, annoyed at myself attitude I get when I leave interviews. Just the thought of it being a joke and I've made a fool of myself. The attitude is what I find can bring me down. So I need to combat that

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@Teej how do you feel about your thing you are talking about?

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah I get that about the attitude @MDT . I will do the same and do now for anything pretty much where I feel I have to perform. One day I will be applying for jobs again too. I will struggle immensely with the whole process. I hope you get the 👍🏻 soon for something.

Im exhausted after my thing. It wasn’t like your thing. (Just wrote about it on just checking in, but please don’t feel the need to respond).

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

All good @Teej
I'll. Have a read of it 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT Sorry your not sure about todays interview. Hope you get a response soon.Saw your other thread... Feelings from one thing can spill into day to day stuff.

Just "walking with you".

Take it easy.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks @Appleblossom 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Firstly, can I ask what you meant by '..just the thought of it being a joke and I've made a fool of myself'?

If I'm nervous at an interview, I talk too much. I was fast tracked for one recently (they called me a day after receiving my app and resume) and interviewed me there and then on the phone. I was still in my jammies having a cuppa.

The thing was, it caught me off guard so the conversation was smooth and comfortable. I actually didn't know I was being interviewed. Go figure!

She said; 'Well, that'll do me, so when can you start?' I WAS NOT expecting those words. I actually sent in the app as practice so wasn't prepared to accept, however it made it easier to negotiate my wage and working hours. ($10 an hr above award and 2 days each fortnight! Yay!). (A perk of being over 55 as per Fairwork Australia)

I guess what I'm getting at @MDT, is that when we're relaxed, especially if the convenor's easy to talk with, something just clicks. What [she] did with me was pretty sneaky, but it was far better than face to face. Whew!

Can you ask for a phone interview? Not feeling judged by looks or body language makes a world of difference. It'd be great if you had the option eh?

(Sorry I haven't been around lately, my Nan passed away and the funeral was today. I'm ok btw. She was in her 90's, lucid, lovely as ever and always surrounded by loved one's. She wanted a letter from the Queen but didn't quite make it. Bugger!)

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