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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT It probably is quite normal. When I left Uni , I gradually lost all close good friends. But years on, I still know the happiest times of my life with them. We are now in a bit of contact, But what is important, is the happiness we shared which will never change. As we get older, we still meet new friends through activities, some stay, some don’t. We learnt to appreciate them as who they are, and not trying to hold on to them too tight. Friends give us support as peer which family can’t do. You are young. You will have many more years than me. You are doing well. Enjoy life in its beauty and appreciate its tragedy. Thanks for care. It is good knowing you.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Indeed @Meowmy
Well said - appreciate its tragedy but enjoy its beauty. A balance.

You are quite right. I think I am just at a point where I am renewing different elements in my life. Just a period of change. Friendships are this

In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It’s hard when you’re not feeling up to it @MDT to go out and socialise.

Take care @MDT xx

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

It is isn't it @BlueBay

How are you coping today after the other day? You were doing it tough I remember

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hey @MDT I totally get being selective with social plans. I've cancelled a bunch the last month 'cos I didn't feel up to it. I cancelled Meetups all this year until last fri when I finally felt up to meeting new peple. I had a lovely time but only becuase I went when I had the energy & calm to enjoy it. You gotta go with your instincts & what feels right on the night.

A friend texted me to say she's worried about me 'cos she hasn't heard from me in ages. This is a huge shock, don't think anyone has said that to me in 20 years or even ever. I didn't know how to reply! I thought it over for a day then replied with reassurance but without going into any exhausting details. Friendships can take work.

I'm with you in this bl**dy employment campaign, had a few interviews lately & they take a lot out of me & considerable time to recover from, hard for me not to ruminate over the interview questions for the next 24 hours. Hang in there & well done for interviewing, it's hard work & testing.

Hope you have a nice relaxing saturday night. Take your mind off it all

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

I’m not doing so great @MDT

got no motivation or energy to do anything

feel really down snd depressed

just struggling a bit

I just came back from a walk to the park with my granddaughter

she had fun playing

niw home and I’m bored I’m nit even bothered about cooking dinner

it sucks sometimes

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Indeed @BryanaCamp

I received a message from someone who was asking after me last time on election night (but i didn't go as i was buggered lol).
Then this week another friend from india texted me telling me we gotta catch up. So things are slow. Maybe it's the MH doing it again.

Yes. Employment campaign indeed. Nothing ventured nothing gained though I Think

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

IT does suck at times doesn't it @BlueBay

I am also happy to hear you are spending time with your grand daughter too. I think people underestimate the impact that family can have on us - especially now in today's career obsessed world. Everyone has to get one over each other. IT's not healthy.

Take care of yourself BB. You could get uber eats haha 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@BlueBay

You're not alone my beautiful sister

Just do what you need to do today

Perhaps something easy for dinner or grab a takeaway

Hi @MDT

You're such a nice young man

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Thanks fir caring sis @oceangirl ❤️

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