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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

yep i totally get that @MDT
it is a sucky feeling but it doesnt have to stay that way. ive realised that sometimes when i cant see a way out it means ive been overthinking and need to just focus on getting through for now and then reassessing again another time.
is that something you want to try? or do you want to talk about what the main one or 2 things are that have you feeling stuck atm

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Work
Social life

Those are the two things @outlander

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Those are the main ones on my mind right now. All that other shit too though

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

ok @MDT

emplyoment is hard esp once your out of highschool. not just for you but for anyone. if i wasnt shoved into being a carer i probably would be in the same predicament as you are trying to find work.
Do you think Zoes suggestion of trying to do some volunteer work would be helpful atm or even applying for jobs at coles, woolies or other shops until you get into a role that you want? it doesnt have to be permanent but it might help you in other ways like meeting new people and forming work collegues and having that social life with them.
i know you probably dont want to work in those sorts of places but perhaps you could think of it as temp and a way of gaining other things for now

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Yeah I have some stuff here to apply for @outlander

Except I'm just very pessimistic about it all. I say that because it just always turns out as a circle of crap...

I could do tutoring again but I get depressed with that

I'm trying to balance need or want

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

finding work is hard and frustrating and relentless @MDT
its ok that your pessimistic about it but try not to let it get to you to much. ive spoken to many people on here and offline that have said theyve had to do the crappy stuff like working in shops before they could work up to the things they do now.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

True @outlander

My worry is that I do something that makes me really depressed or sad. That's all.

And what my colleague said really actually annoyed me. It's almost like they were waiting for me to fail. I'm not sure how to navigate all of that now.

It's stressful as...

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

what was it that your collegue said? @MDT

perhaps you think youll get depressed in a job that you dont really want to do because you think youll be stuck in that role? just a thought anyway. if thats the case maybe try reminding yourself that its not permanent

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

My colleague bascially criticised what i wrote and also gave me some feedback on my resume/cv and pretty much just criticised it to no end.

She justified what she said by oicking up on small buts and piecesand uzing them as evidence for why i had things wrong. I knew approaching them was going to be a bad idea. But i guess its a start i needed. Now im just questioning why i did it.

Maybe it was a dumb move after all.

It just bugs me that people's advice on my own cv is always so divided. I dont get it and i just want to quit the whole thing. It makes me feel like a talentless idiot to be brutally honest.

@outlander

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

In terms of contracts and stuff, i think 2 or 3 months might be best.

Maybe i zhould tell everyone to go to buggery. Maybe i need to just self direct all of this and stop trying to seek advice from everyone else?
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