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A new start (kind of)

A new start (kind of)

Hi @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @outlander @TAB @Sam3 @utopia @Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom @oceangirl @Sans911 @Snowie @Former-Member @soul @BryanaCamp @Former-Member @Bunniekins and whoever else is there in forumland

I have tagged some of you because we are speaking lots and some others haven't been around for long. If it's too much for you then that's okay I respect that. I won't take it personally.

I have decied to start up a new thread after my psychiatrist appointment today. Off to a new start.

Simply put, he made the point that I am pressuring myself to do stuff far more quickly than what I thought I could. When this approach fails, it feeds back into the loop that was there before (the "i am not good enough", "I have limited time", "I have wasted my life" etc).

He said it was good I didn't go to hospital and avoided ending up there. This doesn't help. What does help is changing the approach etc.

It was a good appointment. I see him again in the morning and then maybe someone else next week.

So it's not entirely hopeless or lost now.

He thought that pressuring myself to go and get this visa would be the wrong decision, given my state of panic yesterday and also this morning.

He said that I need to hold off on pressuring myself. By saying "okay now that I am in Australia for a bit longer, I need to go and find a job quickly" because this is simply unhelpful. It's the wrong attitude and will only feed back into those loops.

So am I feeling more settled? Yes. Do I know what is next? No. Does this bother me? No.

I see my psychologist tomorrow afternoon. I will get something from my psychiatrist in the morning about all of this I think, which he said he can send off as part of the extension on the visa (which lasts for 2 years anyway). It's just a case of extending the timeframe for when I can receive it.

This would effect my chances of working in defence, mi6 etc but these are already off the table for me given my history anyway. The same is the case for the military and police. It does seem like some things are cancelled out because of my MH, but maybe they are things I was never keen on anyways.

That's a side issue for now.

Going to the UK - still a goal. It's a case of how I get there and WHAT I do when I get there. We have established that rocking up with no job or place to live is too chaotic. Especially based on my experience and degree background and skills. But the UK is a goal. My Psychiatrist said "Poland is always there" so I think it might be worthwhile sending them an email asking if I could be either placed on next year's list OR alternatively get some of my money back given the circumstances. Again, not my concern for now.

My concern at the moment is explaining all this to dad. My Psych spoke to my mum today too so she is in the loop. I think he will understand, he wants what is best for me. It takes some adjustment and time. But this is life and how we live it.

THanks forumites. See you a bit later today

Edit: I heard today that one of my old tutees that i helped in 2017 is working and is at uni. Doing well and studying. I joked that we should meet up for coffee and then i can get a job at the same place lol. So today has had a silver lining. This was the student who nearly quit school. But I can only take as much credit for what they achieved. Most of it was them

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In response to: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Managedgym visit. Focused on cardio as I'll be lifting stuff tonight at work.

Maybe the pace at which I was trying to achieve things and score life goals was too quick. So quick that I forgot to live my life. Focusing on the present and dealing with the things that need dealing with now. It seems like the best way to control the future is to have a handle on the present.

I am seeing my psych tomorrow so i plan on raising a lot of the Jungian shadow stuff with him. Particularly in the areas of intimacy and career. Odd combination I think lol but it is what it is.

Just going to take it easy this afternoon before my shift. Late lunch too.

Hope your days treating you well.

@outlander @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Appleblossom @Sam3 @BryanaCamp @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Hope you have a nice afternoon @MDT 😊

im at work until 4pm. I’m feeling like I want to leave but can’t.

Anyway you enjoy your day.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

hi all, a little bit of bush to cheer you up

hi @MDT , I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. Like TAB said, you found work, you'll find more. I think you're doing amazing (I'm struggling just to wash my hair and got another rejection email on the weekend for a job). It's great that you go to the gym too, you've got real dicipline in doing that. Sometimes when we're in our head a lot it's hard to just have normal conversations and normal thoughts (or few thoughts). When I feel strong enough I find it helps to go to volunteering & have normal conversations with the staff and perform well, and sometimes it also helps to see friends & just have normal conversations that aren't about my fears so much - that's only when I feel strong enough mind you. ANyways, hope you have a nice arvo and that work shift goes well tonight for you.

hi @TAB how did the dreaded online induction go? SOunds pretty irritating but hope it got done ok. How are the aches & pains going today, are you at work?

hi @Zoe7 hope you're feeling good today too and that your day is going quick. Hope Toby's ear situation is progressing.

hi @eudemonism how are you going today, will you get out for a walk?

I spoke to my brother in his psych ward overseas last night. He sounds in good spirits & he organised himself a phone so we were able to have a good long chat. He still sounds a bit confused & stressed but says the medication is working. His doctor is hard to see (too busy) which is a bit crappy but I guess all he can do is wait. He was not keen to come home to Australia he just wants to go back to his home when he leaves hospital. He was asking me about how I built up my social supoprts & socail life & I tried to explain meetups to him but it was a bit much for now. He said he feels safe which is great.

I've washed my jeans & top ready for volunteering tomorrow. Got to wash my hair which I find so difficult. Did a little workout this moorning & now going for a walk so will try to wash my hair after that!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks @BlueBay I hope you are having a good day too my friend 🙂

Yeah @BryanaCamp good points. Also nice photo. I constructed up a list of things to talk about tomorrow at the psych so that should build some good discussion points I think. Just watched a game of thrones episode over lunch lol. One step at a time I think. It sounds like you have some stuff to do with volunteering which is good! Good on you for getting into that. I find that the gym breaks the spell of crappy feeling. Today I just did a bit of cardio and a little weights. I do more weights tonight when I'm at work lifting and moving all that stuff. I think I will sleep well tonight. Just going to hold out for my psych tomorrow I think. Normal conversations really do help don't they? I'm glad to hear your brother is in a bit of a better situation re medications as well. You are a good sibling 🙂

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@MDT

Am watching the Danish series Ride the Storm. There is a bit in it about ... "dont forget to breathe" ... and stacking firewood, but also about the issues young men face in our hyped up contemporary culture.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

@BryanaCamp Toby's ear is getting better - it is less red than it was but still over a week to go with the ear drops. He is being a really good boy and letting me put the drops in pretty easily now - so he is getting used to it more. I'll take him back to the vet next Friday to get it checked out again after the course of drops is finished.

@MDT You are way too hard on yourself buddy - as has already been said - you have continued to get these positions and I have n doubt you will get more but you also need to be patient. Not everything comes in an instant and we all need to learn how to wait a bit more for some things. It is a bit like our MH - it doesn't improve over night - it is a process ...and often a long one - one step at a time buddy - you have the persistent, intelligence and knowledge within you to take the necessary steps to get through all this and gain more employment in time. Talking to you psych is a good thing too - you can talk through your fears and learn strategies to deal with those negative thoughts as they come up.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

thanks @MDT it's kind of you.

I don't know Game of Thrones but have friends who totally love it. that is awesome that gym work breaks up your thought patterns, that's a huge strength to have.

Hey @Zoe7 that's lovely Toby's ear is getting better. I'm glad he's taking the drops ok, I know it's not fun administering things like that. my kitty cat is all better and will be so happy tomorrow when he gets his freedom back!

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Oh yes tomorrow is outside day again for your puddy tat @BryanaCamp He will be so happy to roam around outside again - hope he stays away from other cats this time and has no more fights

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

me too @Zoe7 !

I'm on calling duty for my brother tonight so I'll call him in the psych ward later tonight. I feel a bit pessimistic about it, I worry that he'll get out of hospital and just keep turning around in the same circles he has been for ages. He's really stubborn about accepting $ help from family (who can afford it) and that made all the difference to my MH & putting my life back together. Poverty is so stressful I find and I also find to have & maintain my social support network I need a certain amount of money, just to buy decent clothes & pay for coffees so I can go to a cafe with friends. He also never goes to appointments or has any ongoing relationships with essential supports (like a GP, a psychiatrist) and just isolates himself. It's frustrating & he doesn't seem to understand the concept of on-going supports. I see my GP every few months to get blood tests to check for any side effects from my meds, I can't see my brother finding a GP and sticking with that 1 person.

In response to: Re: A new start (kind of)

Re: A new start (kind of)

Ongoing supports are so important @BryanaCamp so I hope for everyone's sake he will find some of those for himself when he gets out of hospital. Isolation often goes hand in hand with MI though unfortunately and you can only do what you can and if he doesn't accept that help then it is going to leave him in much the same situation as he was in before this stint in hospital. You can only keep talking about him finding that ongoing help but ultimately the decision needs to be his also.

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