Denial & search for a quick fix please

@Sazra Hi Sazra and welcome to the forums 🙂 I can only tell you what worked for me and that was taking my medications and seeing my psychiatrist regularly. Also having a mental health nurse and seeing a psychologist. Eating a healthy diet, no alcohol or smoking and leading a healthy life PLUS giving all of that time. It takes time to get better and still things are not perfect and may never be. Btw my diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder. I hope this all helps. greenpea xxx

There is no quick fix. Over time your diagnoses will probably change,every different psychiatrist has their own ideas and they dont all agree with each other. Do your own research,trial and error stuff. Good nutrition,no junk food,cut out smocking and alcohol,get into regular exercising. Dont fill your mind with mindless rubbish be selective,fill your mind with positive reliable information. Select your friends carefully,your friends can make or break you. You don't have any say with relatives you either take them or leave them. Keep in touch with reliable support systems such as this mental health forum for those times when you are down and lost,they are a great support.

Thanks for responding greenpea. Sounds like the answer I knew was coming... The no alcohol thing also seems to be a comon theme which is one i had not considered. :(.

THANKS

Thanks Jay2. A lot of this resonated with me. At the moment I feel as though I could have some negative relationships... But then I wonder if its me not wanting their contunied push to fix myself.

Stil getting the hang of this forum.. Not sure whether to reply to everyone individually or just in one post.

I have been struggling for years, and to be honest the traits of BPD do fit a lot. But in saying that I feel as though I am married to a controling narsicist who makes things worse. He doesnt see it.

He cheated on me last year when I was 8 months pregnant. I found out because the lady he met on tinder tracked me down and emailed me, A few weeks before the baby was born he left me and said that he couldnt be with me after I had an 'episode', he told me that I am 75% of the relationship problems and unless i could admit that It was over.... I left town the next day and went to be with my parents.. he drove for 3 days and made it for the birth. I swited gears and told him that I would take 75% of the blame for our failed marraige and would get treatment for BPD (even though I have had varying diognosis)...

Since being back together, I still feel hurt about the betrayal, but he says that its unfair of me to talk about it because I have hurt him over the years and that us getting back together was like an even level. He makes sure that he holds me accountable for my 'bad behaviour' and I spend a lot of time crying... when I do cry he struggles to feel any sympathy.. Because I cry so much I guess. He tells me when I should sleep, makes me negotiate house hold decisions and is obsessive about money.

my psych is worried that he pathologises me and is controlling too. I swear its not just me,

Any way, I constantly feel like something isnt right in life and that I need to pack up and leave, But I have been doing that my whole life. We will be doing couples counselling and hoping this will heko.

Is it my relationship? Or is it BPD sabotaging my relationship?

Hi @Sazra

I have a lot of problems with relationships. Recently, I felt so hurt and abandoned by friends (who I felt I had been a really, supportive, good friend to) that my psychotic symptoms returned for the first time in 12 months. Along with the symptoms came anguish and a highly angry mood that drags on for days with no relief. I had to increase my dosage of meds and after about a week they started to work so I am feelings a bit better now, more calm and energetic. But while I was psychotic I had very strong impulses to burn bridges - to tell my hurtful friends just how much they'd hurt me and that I didn't need their friendship any more. It was a very strong impulse and it lasted for days. I'm glad I didn't act on it even though I thought burning bridges was the only way to get relief.

What helped me is medications from a really good psychiatrist. I find talking therapies inflame my anger and psychotic symptoms so, after many years of trying them, I now don't do them. I also find mindfulness unhelpful, it makes me frustrated and irritable. But that is just me, every individual is different, even if they have the same diagnosis.

My advice is to keep trying and try not to act on impulse by bridge-burning or escaping. Hopefully you'll find something that will regulate your emotions so you can see your situation more clearly, without so much painful emotions. I chose to distance myself from my mean friends for a while instead of totally burning bridges with them and ending the friendships. It's great you have a psychologist for support. Have you thought about medication or seeing psychiatrist?

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