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QueenieSenior Contributor
The title really says it all. Life is not treating me kindly. I guess nobody has smooth sailing in life, but it (life) just gets me down. I read somewhere that my brain chemistry is unlikely to ever be the way it was before mental illness, I guess it is that brain chemistry which has almost destroyed me. I’m tired of rebuilding. Anyone else tired too?
In response to: I’m not coping well at all
Eden1919Senior Contributor
very tired @Queenie the constant strugle is exhausting i am sorry things are so hard for you at the moment i cant make it go back to where it was before but all i can think to suggest is hold tight to the good things you have and dont ever let them go because maybe they will be enough to keep you going enough for another good thing to happen.
In response to: I’m not coping well at all
RazzleSenior Contributor
Hi @Queenie. I don’t know much about brain chemistry, but I do know what it’s like to feel like life is not kind. Right now I feel like my life is starting to spiral out of control, again, and each day it just gains a little more momentum.
I feel like every day I do battle with
myself to feel, just to actually feel, anything. Every day I wear a mask, no one knows what is really going on in my mind, I’m an empty shell.
And yep, I’m tired too, so extremely tired
In response to: Re: I’m not coping well at all
QueenieSenior Contributor
@Razzle An empty shell, that really resonates with me as I feel the same way. I feel like a ghost of my former self wearing a “me” mask but in reality is nothing like myself. I think I spend so much time trying to be me, I’ve forgotten who me actually is. I don’t know how to find myself either. Confusing but saddening at the same time.
In response to: Re: I’m not coping well at all
RazzleSenior Contributor
@Queenie We sound like 2 sides of the same coin. Its exhausting trying to be someone I’m not. I throw on a fake smile in front of everyone else all day long, then stand crying in the shower at night. Eat, sleep (well try) and repeat.
My son and his partner are expecting a baby in a couple of months, my first grandchild, and I feel NOTHING. I’ve even tried shopping for baby stuff and I can’t connect at all. The only emotion I can muster up right now is fear, dread, extreme sadness, but nothing that I should be feeling. I’m just over everything at the moment.
In response to: Re: I’m not coping well at all
QueenieSenior Contributor
It’s been decided, if I can hold out until after Valentine’s Day, I can check into respite for a week. It seems forever away but in reality isn’t I guess.
In response to: Re: I’m not coping well at all
utopiaSenior Contributor
@Queenie . I can understand . I recently asked why if my depression has backed right off, why ME the original person is not showing up.
I was told my old me is just that, old, and that most likely I will have to create a whole new ME!
I have no idea how to do that.
So you are not alone.
In response to: Re: I’m not coping well at all
QueenieSenior Contributor
Tonight I am meeting up with my dad. I’m so nervous! What if I make a big moron of myself?
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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