Topic Tuesday // Exploring Compassion Fatigue // Tues 26 Feb, 7pm AEDT

Hi @Smc - welcome, thanks for coming along and sharing tonight 🌟

Hey all 👋

I too can relate to your experience @Former-Member. I'm not a carer in the way that many people here on the carer's forum are but as a parent, a daughter and friend of people I care for and support in different ways, sometimes I can feel like I'm burning out.

I'm interested in following along/joining in here tonight and hopefully hearing some ways to manage those signs of burnout and fatigue.

Hi @Smc, @Volcanogirl & @LHP20

@Smc thank you for sharing your experience. Yes, of course there are always added layers when the caring is not a role that you have chosen as well as the complexities of living with someone who you are caring for and defining the role of the relationship when you are no longer living together. At its core despite the differences in the circumstances of the situation, the signs and effects of compassion fatigue or burnout are the same. What then comes into play is how all the other layers imapct on you and resources to assist in the management of CF& burnout.

@CheerBear - fab to have you along with your own perspective towards burn out and compassion fatigue. It can still exist in relationships regardless of what level of carer vs parent, partner etc you would consider yourself to be.

Compassion fatigue (CF) is a term that most of you sound like you are already familiar with, which is great to see! Awareness of what we are expereincing can defintiely help. To define it for anyone who may have some questions or if this term is new,

compassion fatigue is a term used to describe the experience of anyone who suffers physical and emotional exhaustion as a result of being in a caring role. It can often result in a reduction of compassion and empathy and for some carers this is what helps them support their family members/partners/children and friends.

This means that when we are exposed to the details of someone’s experiences, particularly if these are negative or aversive in some way, we can become desensitised to them and lose that sense of connection and compassion. For example, this may take the form of not feeling compassionate towards the person you are caring for when they are telling you that they are having a bad day or that they are needing your support with something.

Has anyone here experienced this reduction in empathy and compassion when supporting the person you care for? I’m also wondering how noticing this impacts on you?

I can relate to virtually everything you said @Former-Member

I work as a carer - I've been feeling like (& experiencing) what you describe, for so incredibly long.

That no amount of efforts at self-care seem to make much difference.

I deeply care for people, yet I cannot feel forced to ignore my own needs on a daily basis - when there is no one at home with me, & no one in my life (physically) to "care for me" when I need it.

Add to that my having major physical health challenges - including going into hospital for major surgery, next week.

Adge

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member and everyone here 👋

Would love to stay tonight but there is somewhere else I need to be.

I do have a question, and will return later to see if there is an answer .....

Can compassion fatigue present as psychosomatic symptoms .... ie the body revealing distress in the form of panic reactions, pain, fatigue, shakes, etc ?

Will check back in when I am at home again.

I have often felt numbed by the overwhelm of having to be "on duty" all the time. But the worse was when GB became fecally incontinent about a year ago. I had a knee injury from pushing his wheelchair and was in constant pain. So I could no longer push him and had to change pullups as I couldnt get him on the toilet for bowel movements (he was also urinary incontinent for years). I cannot put into words the feelings of disgust and revulsion that the smell brings up - I turned into a different person, rantig, raving, swearing, threatening to run away. Eventually I found some methods to make it quicker and less revoluting but it took its toll on both of us.

Welcome @CheerBear & @Adge,

@Adge I hear you in everything you have just described and have certainly felt my own frustration at self-care. You are right when you say that you cannot feel forced to ignore your own needs daily. No one can sustain that. We might be able to do that in the short-term if the situation calls for it but we cannot keep that up ongoing.

Has anyone here experienced this reduction in empathy and compassion when supporting the person you care for? I’m also wondering how noticing this impacts on you?

yes definently. I have a carer title but like Cheerbear and im sure many many more i am also a daughter, granddaughter and sister. i have noticed more and more that despite my empathetic and compassionated nature im finding myself just getting irritated or just to tired to help everyone all the time. Ive withdrawn alot from everyone, become more irritable, fatigued, and just not wanting to help anyone or getting bothered when people are constantly asking for help.

its also affecting how i take care of myself- like i just cant be bothered putting in effort to take care of myself.