PaulisnotmynameCasual Contributor
Anxiety relapse and intrusive thoughts
Hi I just need to get things down. I have a history of anxiety (maybe OCD) and have been deteriorating again over the past 2 months or so, possibly triggered by some work stress. I am seeing my GP in a couple of days.
I have been in a loving relationship for 14 years and have 2 children. Things have been great in all areas of our relationship, especially over the past couple of years. Recently I have been experiencing distressing intrusive thoughts about my partner's previous intimate relationships (which I have limited knowledge of and are pretty irrelevant given the length of our relationship). Basically I am imagining fictional scenarios of my partner with other men and playing them over in my head, over and over again. It feels like torture.
Also I have become incredibly insecure about my ability to please my partner sexually, even though she is very reassuring and we have always had a wonderful, active sex life.
I am at a point where I cant eat or sleep properly and often break down in tears. It is frustrating my partner and I am terrified that she will leave me, though she reassures me that this will not happen.
Rationally, I can see that my fears are unfounded - why would she be with me this long if I was not a good partner?
I can't seem to make the thoughts go away and it is affecting things vey badly. I want to be back to my old self so desperately, but I can't see how this can happen. Maybe someone has some pearls of wisdom. We are in our mid-40s which makes this even more stupid. Thanks for reading. Peace.