Advice please

@Bjorn Hi Bjorn and welcome to the forums and a BIG thankyou for your reply. I have so much guilt over this whole sending to the hospital thing .... he has a myriad of problems so he doesn't fit well into the hospital setting. He is very vulnerable in many ways. I know you are right I just needed to here it from as many people as I could otherwise I know I will stick my head in the sand and try to ignore what is happening around me.

Again thank you for your advice.

I don't have any advice for you on this one @Bunniekins but wanted you to know I am here for support

Can they up the support or do assessments at home. @Bunniekins

Feeling for you in the ambivalence with your son. It would not be in his or your interests if things went pear shaped, no matter what. Find a way to tell him that bottom line you want the best for him. He might be speaking out his ambivalences re parenting and boundaries, and not really going to hurt you, but best be safe than sorry.

How much support does he have of weekly level. He does sound high needs.

At one stage I was modelling taking meds for my son to show him the responsible approach. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would happen. We do what we can.

Take Care.

You dont have to be the life of the party all the time. You have a lot to manage.

Good morning, @Bunniekins. Feeling a lot for what you are dealing with. I agree with @Bjorn. You and your daughter need to be safe, and your son sounds like he might need acute care. In my view, promises are of much lower priority than being wise about the wellbeing of those we have care of, and ourselves. If I had kept my promises, I would still be in an unhappy marriage or still entangled in an abusive relationship in America! For what it's worth, that's my sense of things with what's going on for you. Terrible to have to live in fear. Hugs and love whatever you decide. oxoxox

@Zoe7@Appleblossom Thankyou Zoe7 and Appleblossom your words mean alot to the pea.xxxx

@Mazarita darling Mazzy thank you. Sometimes I just wish he would just knock me over the head so that I would not have to deal with the problems any more. Does that make sense? Kind of put me out of my misery talk.

I know he loves his family so much. He really does. It is his delusions which take over and are super scarey.

Well, one part of him loves his family very much, the better part, @Bunniekins. Another part is dangerous to them. Yes, it's his delusions. As I see it though, they are not actually completely separate from who he is, nor does that explanation of things make the danger any less, regardless of how we might find it understandable in relation to his mental illness.

I do understand the conflict in you though, which is because you love him. Essentially though you are in a relationship with your son that is sometimes abusive. It's not uncommon for mothers to be abused or live in fear of their sons. It's just as complicated emotionally, maybe more so, than abusive partner relationships. Often women do not keep themselves safe in these situations, out of love. I think you need to try to look past your emotions in this case and do the thing that is most wise for yourself and your daughter. I think it is likely the best course of action for your son too.

Again, just my opinion, for what it's worth.

@Mazarita you are right, I know you are right. If he was just a partner I would have k1cked him out the door without a seconds glance but because he is my son it makes it so much harder and because he loves his mum and depends upon me more so I think than anyone else it makes it harder .... It is just hard Mazzy.

Thanks for your caring words my dear friend Mazzy. xxxx

It is so hard, @Bunniekins. Feeling for you a lot. Sorry if I'm sounding a bit hardline in my response, just concerned for you all, especially you my dear pea.