Introducing myself and just feeling extremely down right now...

Hello @Inmybubble and welcome to the forum

remember you are not alone my friend

my husband has Depression and Anxiety, but lately it is Bipolar 11 as well

my husband had anti depressants a long time seeming like they were not working until he was put on anti anxiety meds as well

we still have our ups and downs everyday

sending you lots of tender hugs my friend

@Bunniekins, @utopia, @frog , @Teej, @Former-Member

Hello @Inmybubble and welcome to the forum.

In terms of finding a supportive community that understands, doesn't judge and offers help - you've come to the right place. It took me ages to take the plunge and it has been a game changer.

Working 34 hours/week and looking after two young kids is a heavy load, even without anxiety and depression. You've done some really good things in terms of taking care of yourself - exercise and eating well are really significant positives, as well as sometimes difficult to sustain. Give yourself some credit for the effort. I try and look for small wins, and incremental change and build as best I can.

Sometimes a diagnosis can feel overwhelming and associated with grief, but it also makes getting help easier. It can take time to get the right support in terms of health professionals but don't give up! I've had mixed experiences but at present have a wonderful gp, psychiatrist and psychologist. It's important to find people who you can respect for their training and expertise, as well has having them respect you as the expert on your own experience.

If you can find a good fit, a psychologist can be great. Be honest with them about your misgivings, and remember it's ok to look for another one if it isn't working for you.

Medication can take some time to work, and people's responses are very individual. There are a *lot* of options on that front and if, having given it a good go, you don't think it's right for you, speak up and ask for an alternative. I didn't get mine sorted out until I found my current specialist, after a very long struggle.

I'm sorry it's so hard at the moment. There are lots of people here who care. I'll tag you in a thread called 'introduce yourself here' and hopefully you can meet some others. Take care.

Hello @Inmybubble

You are at the busiest part of the life cycle.

In generations past there were less/different?? expectations on mothers.

It is difficult managing grief when children are small. I had a lot of grief and a lot of difficulty, but somehow I have survived.

Suicide is one of the most complicated forms of grief there is. I also felt "jealous" and understood why my sibs went. My own suicidal ideation went from zero to massive and obssessive. Never in my wildest dreams would I have realised it was so hard.

I wanted to run away from my responsibilities on earth and yearned to reconnect with my lost people, but somehow I managed to stay, and slowly life is getting worth living again.

Be very kind to yourself. It is a huge journey. There is no shame in getting professional help. It is a social problem, an epidemic even.

Take Care Apple

@Inmybubble

Nice to meet you here.

I was also diagnosed with Depression anxiety and PTD. Although the PTSD has stopped.

I'm surprised you're getting your anti depressants from your gp. As my psychiatrist decides what meds I'm to take, only then can my gp fill out a script.

I recently had an 18 month depressive episode, that almost killed me. Those seductive thoughts of suicide can be tempting. But my psychiatrist increased my anti depressants to a high level and added 2 mood stabalisers to the mix. It has made a HUGE difference. I no longer have any depression. I'm feeling stronger.

When your gp does your mental health care plan, he can write a referral to a psychologist. He can also write a referral to a psychiatrist. I see both.

Good luck with going back to work. Hopefully you will settle right back in within a few days.

Hi @Inmybubble,

reading your story, I felt that I had to reply to you, as you sound so much like me, at the beginning of my journey through depression and anxiety, that it is uncanny.

unlike you, I did not have children, but I was living in a committed relationship and working full-time in a very demanding job. Like you, I was the "go to" person at work that everyone relied on. In my personal life, I was also very empathetic and reliable for other people, but I couldn't feel any empathy for myself, if that makes sense? I could not take time just for myself, and if I did take time out, I felt guilty and unlovable.

It's like there was no room for me to just be 'me' in my own life. How could that ever work???

@Inmybubble, I think you will find it very, very rewarding to talk to a therapist/psychologist. At first it is intimidating, yes, I agree, and you might feel very anxious having to expose your true feelings. If you are anything like I was, then you might even feel that you don't deserve to be listened to and that what you feel and say is not important.

believe me, you are important and you are worth it. It can be difficult to reveal your thoughts to a stranger, but they are heard it all before and they are not there to judge you. They are there to help you and therapists even find it very rewarding to help people. Otherwise they would not be in that job.

If work seems too daunting for you at the moment then get a certificate from your doctor and take a few weeks sick-leave. That is what sick-leave is for. Everyone else uses it, and why shouldn't you use it too? What happens at the office while you are on leave is not your worry. Let someone else take charge.... They would probably appreciate the opportunity to do so!