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How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Eden1919Senior Contributor29 Dec 2018, 10:54 pm AEDT

How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

How am I ever supposed to trust the people who hurt me so badly. The very people who were supposed to help me to make me feel better. They hurt me so badly I can never use may arm the same way again and my leg also is regularly sore. Physically is hurts is aches and it makes me cry because it never stops hurting. But mentally it is torture the constant panic attacks and nightmares. The flashbacks and the shaking everytime I have to go anywhere near the building. These people were supposed to help me but they hurt me over and over and over again laughing at me yelling at me telling me how much of a terrible person I was shouting at me laughing when I told them it hurt. These people are now a constant threat I am now unable to go to hospital even if I am about to hurt myself because I am so scared and because of what they did to me I now have no options for help in a crisis I don't know what to do now how am I meant to get over this how am I meant to feel safe to ask for help when I need to when the only thing that has ever come of that was more pain and suffering. What is left now. I am sorry I don't know if there is even an answer to this but how am I supposed to ever feel safe again.

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In response to: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Unknown userMember31 Dec 2018, 5:00 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Guess we have to move across to the NYE thread now Chrissy over. Think I just heard six early fire crackers go off and a storm rumbling away in the distance. Hope it rains & cools off 🙂

In response to: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Eden1919Senior Contributor01 Jan 2019, 6:14 am AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

@Former-Member wrote:
Guess its frightening feeling you have no place to go whennyou don't feel safe in ya own skin.. But i've worked in ER - let me assure you that these paid, front line service ppl have a DUTY OF CARE to save your life. As annoying as some staff find us, and unprofessionally impose wrong attitudes on those of us whowho might frequent ER with self harm, well - they have to attend you without judgement, starting with ambos. Hopefully they will never repeat the same mistakes on you as before,, especially if you express your fears to someone in charge - and you have the law on your side to

But first, let's stop you getting to that point if we can. Do all the self-care and management. Have your checkups, keep talking here, journal, take your meds, eat properly, drink water, chat here, and turn away from negative thoughts. I don't know the full story but i suspect one person is mainly responsible, you can request that person stay away from you. Hope this helps
Keep checking inin here 🙂

It is not just one staff member it has been over 30 and at least over 15 that have repeatedly hurt me on different admissions. If I was being more realistic I would say over 50 but I am trying to only count the really horrible ones. As for them having to see you they don't really care about that either. I have told them point blank I am going to hurt myself the second I get out these doors and they have told me to go home and that I would be fine. But honestly I rather that than them forcing me to stay there. When they have to treat you they are rude and physically abusive. I have been assulted by staff for crying in my room they really don't care at all. This has happened everytime I have been to the hospital except for one time. Also they do this to other patients as well they literally just abuse everyone on the ward and then stand there laughing at people when they get upset about it. I am trying my best to stay far away from them but it is easier said than done I just want the nightmares to stop.

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Unknown userMember01 Jan 2019, 2:20 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Oh @Eden1919, 'this much worse for you than I envisaged. There needs to be an alternative than ER. as Appleblossom suggested. I remember stitching myself up once because I was too scared to go to ER (fear of lockup) so its an issue that needs addressing. Don't have the answer sorry, just do the best you can with today xox

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