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How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Eden1919Senior Contributor29 Dec 2018, 10:54 pm AEDT

How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

How am I ever supposed to trust the people who hurt me so badly. The very people who were supposed to help me to make me feel better. They hurt me so badly I can never use may arm the same way again and my leg also is regularly sore. Physically is hurts is aches and it makes me cry because it never stops hurting. But mentally it is torture the constant panic attacks and nightmares. The flashbacks and the shaking everytime I have to go anywhere near the building. These people were supposed to help me but they hurt me over and over and over again laughing at me yelling at me telling me how much of a terrible person I was shouting at me laughing when I told them it hurt. These people are now a constant threat I am now unable to go to hospital even if I am about to hurt myself because I am so scared and because of what they did to me I now have no options for help in a crisis I don't know what to do now how am I meant to get over this how am I meant to feel safe to ask for help when I need to when the only thing that has ever come of that was more pain and suffering. What is left now. I am sorry I don't know if there is even an answer to this but how am I supposed to ever feel safe again.

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In response to: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

emg_1Contributor29 Dec 2018, 11:18 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

There are other options for you other than going to that particular hospital.
I know it can be daunting going somewhere that you have had a horrible experience but if you do feel like hurting yourself know that you CAN go to a hospital. It does not have to be the one that you experienced trauma in.

Please don't forget that you are not alone and it is your right to feel safe. I am sure everyone on this site will agree.
xx

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Eden1919Senior Contributor29 Dec 2018, 11:54 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

@emg_1 There is no other hospital that is the only one in my state the next hospital is 4 hours away and in a different state so I can't access it I don't have that option. The only other thing is private and that is also 4 hours away and expensive.

In response to: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Hope4meSenior Contributor30 Dec 2018, 12:01 am AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Hi @Eden1919

The answer to your question; 'How do I ever trust them again?' is simple...you DON'T!!

And that's perfectly ok. It's more than reasonable to protect yourself first before wondering what others think or do.

Victims of family abuse have been groomed to feel/think little of themselves for the benefit of the abusers. They're gutless cowards who pick on those smaller or more vulnerable than themselves; creating fear is their tool of choice because it works!

I'm so sorry about your painful situation. Let me tell you though @Eden1919, there's always hope. I'm glad you feel confident enough to voice your concern on this forum as we're here to listen without judgement. What's going on around and to you is a crime; pure and simple. I hope you have somewhere to go and be safe tonight.

Write here anytime you like hun. Getting it off your chest is therapeutic, so vent your pain knowing you're heard, validated and acknowledged.

Here for you...

Hope xo

PS...please don't be afraid of kindness. It's probably new and weird, but open yourself up to it if you can. x

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

emg_1Contributor30 Dec 2018, 12:10 am AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

@Eden1919 lovely, i am so sorry to hear that.

Please express yourself here if you need and know that we are all here for you. We might not have your exact experience but we have all been in a position of needing someone.

i promise you no one here will laugh or make fun of anything you have to say or what you feel. it might seem weird but we are all here to help each other.

Also, if you find yourself in a complete melt down and there doesn't seem to be anyone on here call one of the hotlines.

Just know that you will and can get through this tough time with a little hope.
xx

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Unknown userMember30 Dec 2018, 2:38 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Guess its frightening feeling you have no place to go whennyou don't feel safe in ya own skin.. But i've worked in ER - let me assure you that these paid, front line service ppl have a DUTY OF CARE to save your life. As annoying as some staff find us, and unprofessionally impose wrong attitudes on those of us whowho might frequent ER with self harm, well - they have to attend you without judgement, starting with ambos. Hopefully they will never repeat the same mistakes on you as before,, especially if you express your fears to someone in charge - and you have the law on your side to

But first, let's stop you getting to that point if we can. Do all the self-care and management. Have your checkups, keep talking here, journal, take your meds, eat properly, drink water, chat here, and turn away from negative thoughts. I don't know the full story but i suspect one person is mainly responsible, you can request that person stay away from you. Hope this helps
Keep checking inin here 🙂

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

TABSenior Contributor31 Dec 2018, 1:50 am AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Perhaps get physically away from your ‘friends ‘ and you might find your leg gets better. Just sayin @Eden1919 .. seen it. Haven’t been it.

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

TABSenior Contributor31 Dec 2018, 1:54 am AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

@Former-Member well said. Ok
Iceblockd on park bench 😸 hope you’re okay

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

AppleblossomSenior Contributor31 Dec 2018, 12:12 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Are you able to access the PARC

Prevention and Recovery Units

It is probably more appropriate for you than the Emergency Room.

Go gently with and take Care

@Eden1919

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

Unknown userMember31 Dec 2018, 3:51 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

@Appleblossom wrote:
Are you able to access the PARC
Prevention and Recovery Units
It is probably more appropriate for you than the Emergency Room.

Go gently with and take Care
@Eden1919

Tried to get us an icecream @TAB, because its so bldy hot, but MrWhippy died, then I found the letterbox LOL. 😞

In response to: Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

TABSenior Contributor31 Dec 2018, 3:57 pm AEDT

Re: How am I ever supposed to trust them again?

it;s so o hot here @Former-Member I'm fearful of short walk to shops. think may leave I scream til tomorro ok at around 5am before it hits 30deg lol

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