Really struggling tonight

Hi me too and it's awful chronic pains there is days I don't cope and I cry are you getting help 4 your pains?I go to pain clinic I see a physio 2 yrs now who's very helpful meds don't help I take vitamins and a nerve capsule which settles nerve pains .I recently gave up my job due to pains its made me feel anxious and bored. I hope u feel better soon x

@Marrie Thankyou for replying. I don’t see my GP very often, he knows nothing of my issues. My GP is pretty much a pill pusher and I don’t want that, I have a history with drugs (20+years ago) since then I rarely take even a Paracetamol. Although, I’ve had to take a few pain killers these last few weeks since breaking my ankle, which I hate. The only person I speak to about my problems is my councillor.

My own family don’t know about the sexual abuse I suffered as a child, and I don’t want them to know. I’m from a very small town and speaking to anyone here will eventually find its way back to my family - as it is the councillor I see is 270kms from my home.

Im heading back to the dreaded shops to finish my Xmas shopping today, I am so not looking forward to that.

Im still feeling pretty flat, anxiety is bubbling away under the surface all the time which makes me feel horrible. I have been able to control the panic attacks at home, but I’m not so good in public spaces, and there will be a LOT of people around today which scares me a little.

Sorry you have been in so in so much pain lately, I was born with a problem in my spine which caused a lot of sciatic pain. The pain didn’t start until I was about 15 but I’ve had it ever since, when it flares up it just wares you down.

@TAB I hope you have found relief for all your aches and pains too. Thanks for jumping in. I had better go get ready for the day - the sooner it’s over the better.

@Razzle hope your shopping goes well it's the first year I won't go shops no energy and too painful for me to walk around. Today having an injection for left shoulder bursa .my doc is so wonderful chat to and no pill pusher .shame and sad you live with sexual assault that would have caused your anxiety as NOBODY deserves any form of assault.you must trust your councillor and I'm hoping is an understanding compassionate person and helpful to you.well chat later try enjoy the day shopping and take care xx

Hi@ Razzle hope shopping went well 4 u and I hope you are feeling better Xo❤

@Razzle

Thinking of you, Was not sure where to post.

:

Motherhood is such a huge topic. Once a mum it never stops.

Thanks @Appleblossom for checking in. I’ve managed to drag myself through a shower. I’ve taken a couple of pain killers, my heads throbbing and my eyes are burning. I need to head to town soon, I had my mum admitted to hospital yesterday as she couldn’t walk and I was worried she’d have a fall home alone. She was taken for a CT today at the next biggest town close to here for it, and I’ve just had word she’s back at the hospital. I don’t want to go anywhere, I just want to stay here and shut my eyes.

Theres too much going on. After everything my son and his partner have told us that’s been happening these past 10 weeks, they have walked straight back into it and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I am absolutely sick to my stomach that my granddaughter is in that house. I’m absolutely heart broken that they’ve chosen to live there with a psychopath and all the violence she brings and not want to be here. How can I feel any good as a mother when they’d rather live there??

My head hurts way too much thinking about all this, everything just hurts too much

I noticed you may have felt cut off on other threads so looked for a thread you had started. @Razzle I dont know why your son has made that decision ... maybe he felt he would never win the fight to give her a home away from her family....but I also instinctively knew that many middleclass people i have met, cushy with their homes were setting up their futures to act in that way .... it is a thing many people do ... it is not just to you or your grandchild .... Dont make the story of your grandchild into a whip for yourself ...motherguilt is something we all struggle with ... it can never be perfect ... and was never meant to be ... coddle yourself and swaddle your eyes with teabags or whatever helps ....find the streak in yourself that survives it all ...be kind to yourself .... get the services in for your mum so you have less running around to do ... this world would not be here if it werent for mothers .... poor vulnerable flawed individual and unique mothers.

Human Being are story makers ... even the latin name for us implies that concept.

Motherhood is an impossible role ... except for those who have had luck .... or the mojo ... to protect their image as mothers ....I have heard lots of stories about grandmothers helping later on ... I know I have to accept that timing ...