Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Dear @Peri

I'm happy to hear that you got to Melbourne okay, and that you are enjoying your stay so far. Oh Peri ... and even more happy to hear you say that your son has offered you a lovely apology. That is fantastic. Yes it may well be the case that the break from each other will be a good thing for you both. With the still recent move, and everything else which has been happening for both of you, it cannot have been easy for either of you. Fingers crossed it can be a new and far better start once you get home mid week from your Melbourne visit.

It has been a lovely opportunity for you to spend time with your nieces and especially your sister whom you are staying with.

Good to hear the anxiety has lost some of its grip on you. It has hopefully enabled you to enjoy as much as possible this visit. I would love to hear how the Memorial for your Mum went/goes, when you have the time to do so.

We have a family visit this weekend, so I am just sending a quick post through for now. My husbands son and his wife and our 4 grandkids are due to arrive this morning and spend their final night in the area, here with us. So busy busy today. It will be nice to see the grandkids, whom we have not seen in 2 years due to hubbys illness and inability to travel. And I get on well with hubbys son too, and my step DIL is a lovely lady. A former commercial law lawyer who now works as a florest. Its a blended family, there is a his, a hers, and 2 of theirs.

I'm sorry if my latest posts (my threads I guess you are talking about?) have concerned you. I havent posted very much on my own thread for that exact reason, I dont like to always post negative stuff. I'm looking for something positive to post. But that often leads to long silences from me. I'm okay though. And thank you for saying that you value my support. I'm very glad to be of any help, no matter how small it may be. It gives purpose to my life. There are many lovely people here on Sane, who are very helpful and supportive, as you have seen from @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Appleblossom and @Caerulean. Its a lovely community to be a part of.

Enjoy the rest of your Melbourne visit. I think its cooled down a little to what it was down there? Its still very very hot here, 38C yesterday and same expected today. Possibly to become a little cooler at the end of this week. Hope so anyway.

Much love to you

Sherry 🤗💕

HI @Peri

that is wonderful that you have a sister who you love. I too have a sister who is a positive part of my life. SHe has no mental illness and doesn't understand it but I generally always feel better for spending time with her and her kids. I don't have any kids of my own so I find it is really important to spend time with her kids, my nephews.

I am struggling with depression too. But for me I don't feel life is meaningless, I feel enraged. I get a very busy head with lots of angry and frustrated thoughts. I have zero motivation to do anything, even showering (though I have managed to do that today). I have a pile of dishes to do and I should do some exercise but going for a walk was the most I could manage today - unfortunately it was not a restful walk because my mind was racing with angry thoughts.

I suffer from CPTSD too but have found that medication has helped a lot to forget the past. I have medication that helps me sleep, rather than just have fitful nightmares. DO you find meds helpful?

I hope your stay in Melbourne has been nice, if hot. Are you returning to your son? I live by myself thankfully so I can't imagine what it is like to share a home space with a son who is unwell. My brother is unwell and I find it quite depressing and frustrating to be in contact with him because he is so negative and not seeking any treatment. He is very stubborn and unwell - perhap[s male pride? - so it is hard not to tell him to seek treatment.

Hi @BryanaCamp,

thank you for your post.

this break away from home has been really good for me. I go home in two days. Yes, I love my sister very much. I have another sister who I also love and is very supportive, but she lives in another state again and although I saw her on this trip I did not see her so much.

Living with CPTSD much be awful. Yes I take medication and find that it does help, but it has taken ages to find the right one just lately and I find that after a period they don’t work so well.

lLiving with my son is not always bad. He is actually very caring, but gets frustrated with me. Although he has his own troubles he is not a miserable person and tries to get on with his life and caring for his disabled daughter.

It is a lovely day here today and I always find that makes me feel better.

peri

Hi @Peri

I havent heard from you in a while so thought I'd quickly stop by and ask you how you've been?

I know you had high hopes of remaining positive after returning from Melbourne, but I'm also aware that you had a fall or something, and thus a bit of a setback.

How are you doing now? Sorry this is brief. Busy morning with hubbys medical appointments and just not feeling well myself. I think of you often, but dont like to bombard you with posts.

Sherry 🌸

hello @Peri , thinking of you lots my friend

Hello @Peri ..

I just called in to say goodnight and wish for you a lovely day tomorrow...🕊💐💜🤗..

sending some positivity to you..🕊 peace..and 🌱 new beginnings..

Starta

Thank you @Starta

I don’t know what to say. Things are hard and I am not coping, but your thoughts are welcome and appreciated

peri

Good morning dear @Peri

I'm very sorry to hear that things are still really hard for you. Have you tried to look for some sort of work, which may get you out of the house and actually interacting with other people? Paid employment would be ideal of course, but if not that, then some type of unpaid voluntary work would be equally as good for you. Other than the money of course!

Are you fully recovered from the fall you had not long after your return from Melbourne? I also hope tensions between yourself and your son have lessened after your time away from home. Makes for a much more harmonious home life, doesnt it. Hope your companion puppies are doing well also.

Something which has been bothering me lately Peri ... I cannot fail but notice that you've been responding to everyones posts to you here over the past few weeks ... except for mine. 😥 I would really appreciate you telling me if I have said something wrong or said something which has upset or offended you. I certainly do not want to hurt you, so it would be good to know if I have and, if so, how. That way I wont do it again. If you would rather I not post here, then I need to know that too. I want to support you as best I can, although I know that is very limited, but I like you and want to try. Now I'm worried I should not have said anything. I'm sorry ... I'm confusing myself now. I've not been in the best state of mind lately. Perhaps I chose the wrong time to write. If I'm rambling .. please just ignore me.

Hi @Starta , lovely to see you here too, and offering your own lovely brand of much needed love and support to all those who need it.

Sherry 💕

Dear @Former-Member ,

thank you so much for your thoughtful post.

I am sorry if I have made you feel as if I don’t value your support. I certainly do. I hadn’t thought that I was responding to many people at all and felt bad about it.

you have done nothing to offend me at all.

My fall was quite bad, I had a badly bruised eye and face and a cut on my brow and hurt my tight elbow and knee. All is recovering now. These falls are quite spontaneous. I get vertigo.

I am going to work on my cv this week and look for some part time work. I am sure this will help, but I am anxious about it.

My doggies are fine, but need to go to a groomer they are rather scruffy. They will get a bath this weekend. My son and I , well it is so complicated. He of course is of an age where he should be off on his own , but life has not sorted out for him that way and I cannot just tell him to go. He is mine.

I am settling in to this new place, but still feel a sense of loss for my home and all that went with it.

Thank you for voicing your concerns as I can only reassure you that I appreciate your friendship and support.

It is a lovely day here today, so I will later take the dogs for a walk and try to enjoy the fresh air and bid song.

I hope you are doing ok, I will post on your thread

your friend, peri