Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Very true @Peri ... and I do treasure those memories. We had proper 'posh' tea cups and would laugh about crooking the little finger just right. Sadly that grandmother died at around 60yo from breast cancer, when I was a teenager.

Are you doing anything special today Peri?

Emelia 💕

No, nothing special @Emelia8 , but I shall get up now and get my little grandee for breakfast

yes grandmas are special, I feel for children who don’t get to experience grandparents.

posh tea cups. How cute.

i shall have to bathe the dogs as one of them seems to be a bit errr shall I say loose.

thinking of you today

love perix

Hello @Emelia8 @Eve7 @outlander @Anastasia @Shaz51 ,

i have been thinking a lot about you all and others here, and about the forums in general. It ha helped me a great deal to put my thoughts here and receive support.but it strikes me how unlike a conversation this is. Friends challenge your thoughts and how you see things. That doesn’t seem to be the way on these forums and I understand that if someone is fragile that is not the time. But it may be constructive to be more that way some times?

i feel that I am at a crossroad in my life. I am 69 but still able and mobile etc. I have one more month to get work if I am to maintain my nursing registration, I don’t really want to work but believe strongly in the value of it and I need some more money.

nut I just don’t want to. I had a wonderful and long career in paediatrics that was ended very abruptly by cruel and ambitious people. That was what I wanted not some crappy substitute.

i have thought of volunteering but to do what. I am not be nature a dogooder as. They say.

i have no partner,so am alone. My youngest son lives with me which is great actually and I see a lot of his little girl.

but my underlying sadness does not go away it seems ever present.

i have been challenged by depression since my early twenties and more recently since the work stuff by severe anxiety which I think is related to cptsd.

i have experienced a lot of loss in my life, a lot, since birth, but that is ok, lots of people do and loss is normal.

i am not sure what I am asking here , but just putting these thoughts out there.

Sometimes I have an urge to shake people and say stuff like. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and wake up to what is beautiful. But would that help or be bad

puzzled peri xxx

Hello @Peri

I like your thought provoking message...

Yes you are right, there is a lot of non challenging conversations here. I do think that it's necessary at times, however I also believe that as we grow to know more about each other the door should be opened to alow constructive advice to be given. I also believe I have seen this happen. Sometimes though when this does occur I have seen the conversation moderated - so depending on the contents being discussed can be a little difficult...

In saying that Peri I am only just getting to know you so don't feel that I have a lot to offer in the constructive advice giving department...that being said you have my word that as I grow to know you I will always give you any advice I can rather than just "sugar coat" things. Based on what you have written today - here are my thoughts...

I hear you when you say you don't want to work but you say you need to earn the money...

I am sorry that you once had a long career in paediatrics that was ended very abruptly by cruel and ambitious people. This makes me mad as I hear it all too often 😞

At times I wish I didn't have to work...but on the upside it does give me some goals to set/work towards and in turn some self satisfaction that I would not have without working. I think the trick is to find the right people to work for, a game changer. I too have had some dreadful bosses so that now I realise how lucky I am to have mine and the company I work for. So my advice...ask questions about the company culture. This might give you an insight as the the treatment of the staff. A question I asked at my interview was how long the three that interviewed me had worked there for. All of them had been there for a number of years. This gave me an indication that it can't be too bad if people stay for years. I really don't think there is a perfect place (it is work at the end of the day) but you deserve respect and to be heard, and NOT to be bullied anywhere you go.

Another upside to working is the social interaction with others, even though you live with your son and spend such beautiful time with your grandaughter, I still believe this is not enough. Without sounding awful It is certainily not enough for me - some days I can't wait to see the back of my loved ones. (Did I really just say that?!) Of course by working it gives me the opportunity to miss them and look forward to returning home to them - does that make sense?

In my previous job I worked from home on my own and missed the face to face contact with others, I feel this would help on days when you are feeling down? Agree?

So, in closing Peri, I do think you should grab the bull by the horns and find something to do work wise, some extra cash, responsibilities - both can only have good outcomes. At the end of the day if you don't like it, move on find something else...nothing ventured nothing gained.

Good luck Peri - I look forward to hearing how things are...I hope all of what I have written is OK (fingers crossed)

P.S @Peri

Hope you have a good day today 🌻🌹🌸💕

Thank you @Anastasia

@your thoughts mean a great deal

peri

Pleasure @Peri

I should add that I think you are such an inspiration still working. I hope I am still able to. Sometimes I worry as my memory is not what it used to be...my therapist said it's due to overload but I can't help but wonder if there's more. My Aunty has dementia. Sending you bucket loads of luck in your search for the right role...please Universe help dear Peri here 🙏

Love always xox

Dear @Anastasia ,

you are giving me too much credit, I am not working at the moment, I have thought about it. But am not yet doing it.. I regret the end of my career very much. I loved it, I had about 50 years nursing, nearly all in paediatrics I treasured what I did. I loved the families as well, even when they were very difficult and believe me some were, and not just because they were worri d about their children. The children were wonderful and being able to help in their outcomes was very rewarding.

i could not go back to acute care now but aged care has interested me. I probably should be in aged care. Ha ha

peri

Hello @Peri

I understand. Well you still deserve credit for your career, my boy was in special care and I will always hold dear the nusrses that assisted both him and me at the time.

Have you found any that interest you as yet? Aged care is also very rewarding. I used to do medical deliveries when I had a pharmacy role and I loved spending time with the ladies, some of which I am certain I was their only "visitor" for the week 😔

Hoping you are doing well. Not much to report here. A quiet day. Must get my boy up he needs his morning tablet. Hugs dear Peri x

Some flowers for your lounge room...

Thank you @Anastasia ,

the flowers look beautiful in my room..

i can speak much now I am feeling so sad and drained. But I think of you with deep affection.

and also @Emelia8 @Eve7 @outlander @Former-Member

peri