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Something’s not right

Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Trying to be happy, isn’t working

I really try hard to face life positively, but it just isn’t working. I don’t feel physically well, though there is nothing specifically wrong with me. I have had long bouts of depression since my early twenties, and I am back there now for the last three years. The black dog has now been joined by severe anxiety and due to some very traumatic events that left me without mt career of 50 years I now have PTSD. This has only been recognised recently. I have no interest in friends or family. Have no money have had to move home and this been another trauma for me that I can’t seem to move past.

I live with my youngest son who is 35 and has his own mh ussues and can be very difficult.i constantly think about death as my only option. But I just want to be happy, not deleteriously so, just happy. I have no partner and still grieve for my husband who died many years ago.

I can find nothing enriching in life

That is enough for now. Peri

468 replies

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In response to: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

sending love @Peri i hope today has some goodness in it

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Thank you @outlander ,

i am sure it will have some goodness I just have to look for and see it

peri

In response to: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Oh @Peri

that is such wonderful news, and she's back tomorrow, that has made my day *big hug

I am super happy to hear you are in a better place, seeing our loved ones has such a huge impact on our mental health and so I also think your grandaughter is a beautiful little ray of sunshine too xox

Oh I hear you about getting older Peri, when did that happen?! I feel great until I go to stand from a sitting position and then I am reminded.

I am ok, I was quite sick but things are ok at present thank you for asking. My boy isn't doing particularly well since the weekend so I can feel a decline for me so I need to keep that in check. It's a bit of a balancing act eally one that I am yet to master but try ever so valiantly to do. Let's just say I am a work in progress 🙂

I will keep you, your darling grandaughter and son in my thoughts and that will bring smiles to my face knowing you are enjoying special time together.

Love and hugs dear Peri xox

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

@Peri

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

@Peri 😘🙏💕

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hello @Peri

I am thinking of you sweetheart, hoping you are ok? 💞🌸🌻

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Thank you so much @Anastasia ,

i am ok your thoughts are much appreciated. I am relaxing this morning but will get into some cleaning later.

Peri

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hello @Peri

I am sorry to hear you are in lockdown. I hope that they lift it after the nominated days and you can go back to normality.

I saw you made some ice cream, very clever! Thinking of you always Peri 🤗💖

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Thanks @Anastasia ,

yes lockdown is a bit of a bore and face masks! Which aren’t going to stop us getting anything from this one fella.

The ice cream was yummy, I make it a lot in summer.

i am drinking coffee and sitting in bed. It is my safe place.

i hope that you have a peaceful day.

peri

In response to: Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Re: Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi @Anastasia @outlander @Emelia8 @Eve7 @Former-Member ,

saturday night and I am feeling particularly low. I let myself down badly last night and am worried that I am stuck being this crappy person who I don’t want to be. I feel sad and alone and lonely. I don’t want to be me anymore . I feel so very alone.

I know my sons love me, but it is a long time since I have felt the centre of someone’s life and important or special. I am not looking for a relationship, but I miss the being part of someone else’s life

peri

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