Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Things can always change @Appleblossom . We will go to court if the next arrangement doesn’t work and I will spend S1’s inheritance to keep grandkids safe.

hugs my @Peri , sitting with you my awesome friend xoxoxo

here for you

Hello @Eve7 , @Appleblossom , @outlander , @Emelia8

Hello @Shaz51 @hope all is good for you. I’ve had success again today.

💙💙💙

My son phoned today and raised these issues a little. I could mention our discussion to him in an anonyous way, saying other families were in similar situations. I think that helped him. He wants to avoid court if possible, which I agree is right in our situation.

@Eve7 @Peri

We don’t want to go to court either @Appleblossom and it would only be as last resort. The only ones who win then are the lawyers.

Dear @Eve7 @Appleblossom ,

Court is not good, but not always bad either. My son had no option but to go. It was his daughters mother who brought the action against him. So unless he chose to give up he had no choice.

But each father needs to decide for themselves how to deal with this terrible system.

Thank you you for your support

peri

@Peri

Sharing your story about court made a difference to me. We might not always connect regularly, but the little bits where we do matter.

In a support group I just shared how my silence was used against my father. Sad.

I have been used a lot, and somehow allowed it, without realising the full implications of lending my support or loyalty.As I write that, I gain a sense of the importance of me being alone at the moment. It is the best way for me to remain independent and not be drawn in to other's scenarios. Gives me a bit of closure. Thank you.

Apple

Dear @Appleblossom ,

i understand what you are saying. I have been drawn into others scenarios, too much at times. Even when I am not sure that I accept all that they are saying, but I believe they still need support.

This is a useful forum, but is not real life and the relationships are not real and I have struggled with all of that. Because I am drawn to some people,and their intelligence and situations.

I have to choose sometimes to stay away so that I get perspective on my situation and life.

I know life isn’t a competition but I sometimes I feel that I just don’t fit in as I just don’t have so many problems as some. But of course I do, life is full of problems for all of us but that doesn’t make the whole world mentally ill. What seems to matter is how we deal with life’s obstacles.

i really appreciate hearing from you. I hope that your son gets to have a relationship that is right with his child.

Peri

@Peri

Thank you for your well wishes. Todays news has been more positive on my son issues.

Appreciate mental health it is partly about dealing with life's obstacles, but also in social connectedness and sharing and having an openness and basic kindness, rather an attitude that might be overly dismissive or competitive. There is probably a wisdom in some levels of competition as an aid to motivation to work for goals, and there is a wisdom in choosing with some selective attention.

I am seeing a time ahead where I will be working on other things and have to take time out from the forum. I hope I can have the self control as the forum has been life saver for me in many ways.

Take Care

Apple

@Peri