Trying to be happy, isn’t working

Hi @Peri ... Keep meaning to get back to you on your post here from last week.

Firstly I am very happy that you have decided to stick around here on the Forums.

Its also really good to see you taking part in a few extra threads. I see you occasionally on the Good Morning thread, where I tag you occasionally. I also see that you appear to have made a nice connection with one of my favourite people here, in @Former-Member . Starting with a conversation on the Good Morning thread about something you both have in common ... nursing, retirement, etc. I was also thrilled to see that you appear to have been the inspiration behind EOR starting up the Seniors Matter thread. A great idea and a thread which is getting lots of wonderful posts on it. Why did nobody ever start a thread about we seniors before now? Well done EOR. As you see @Peri I have tagged EOR here too, because I thought she may be interested in reading a bit more about your earlier posts. Hope you dont mind?

As I mentioned already Peri ... it is really nice to see you getting around a bit more on the forums, and in the process getting to know a few more members. There really are some wonderful people here. And if you are similar to me ... having someone to chat to here is helpful in so many ways. And thank you also for all the beautiful posts you regularly post to my thread. I need to respond to quite a few posts there, and will try to do so later.

@Appleblossom @Eve7 @Shaz51 ... hope your weekend is going well.

Sherry 💓🌸

Dear @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Appleblossom ,

i am having a quiet quiet Sunday evening, on my own at the moment, well except for three dogs.

i have the tv on waiting for something mildly entertaining to come on, I get bored watching the news and am bored to death of hearing about corona virus.

i have my knitting bags out, but do not feel motivated to pick any of it up. Lazy I know.

i have nothing much for dinner, but I am not very hungry so I don’t care.

I have been going going through a sad time over the last few weeks. My son and the mother of his daughter have been engaged in an acrimonious child care agreement for several years. For many years I was able to support this financially and did so willingly, it cost a fortune. But I can no longer do this. The mother of their child seems to have had endless access to legal aid. More recently he has had a legal aid lawyer but standing up for men’s rights seems not very important. They recently had a mediation sessions and due to corona virus it was by phone, so they had no real contact. I only heard bits but it was awful. My granddaughter is now 7 , she is disabled, he has limited access and this was to look at access issues, but it is totally dependant on the mother agreeing, his position is not considered. There are also complicated issues around medical issues about which the parents disagree. He is threatened with losing his parental rights if he does not agree to what the mother wants. I am appalled by this. There is no consideration of the parenting skills of either party or any other factor.

i am not saying that he is perfect, but he is much better equipped to provide balanced care. On Friday when we picked my. Granddaughter up from where she was getting her first wheelchair and then coming to her dad for the weekend, an argument started between them out at the car. The mother’s way of dealing was to hit my son in the face in front of her child. It was very distressing. She then stormed off calling him a cry baby. He , and this is not the first time this has happened, reported the incident to the police. He did not expect much from this, but the police on this occasion were fantastic. This traumatised their whole weekend. Imogen, my granddaughter was upset all Friday evening. He was distressed all weekend.

This is all very distressing . I try to be as supportive as I can without overstepping the grandmother role or always just taking his side. If I think he is in the wrong, I tell him.

this plays on my anxiety , so that is not doing well. Parenting is a life long thing, I would do anything for my children anything, but I cannot fix this. It makes me sad

peri

@Peri

Saw your tag. Sorry the weekend went sour for all 3 of you.

Hearing you about being a grandmother and dealing with a mother with too much power. We can only fix so much. That mother sounds horrid and immature, but sadly seen enough of that behaviour .... Your son does not have to be perfect to be a good enough and decent father. That is all that is needed.

I missed having a father and believe there is a need for mens rights to be discussed.

My grandson is underweight and only just starting to get 15 % solid food and he turned one this month. They are big on home birth, vegan, home school and no outside intervention. Those things could be good, but its too extreme, everything the way of the mother. Both parents are very tall. It is such a waste of goodwill, time and love ...

The younger generation has real needs.

Wish I could say it will be alright. In time maybe your granddaughter will learn that her dad is worth better behaviour than that.

Hi @Appleblossom ,

thank you so very much. The family court does not seem to recognise fathers. It is very sad for the children

peri

Dear @Peri

My apologies it took so long to get back to you. I have been a little quiet on the forums the past couple of days.

Yes you are going through a very sad and distressing time with your son and the custody and access issues around your little granddaughter. Anything to do with the family law courts and associated other organisations, is very very distressing. And often very unfair rulings. I guess they feel they are doing the best, but in reality .. they simply dont know. They are guessing, taking a stab in the dark essentially. And anyone with enough money to throw at the process will always get the better outcome. Unfortunately fathers will always be unfairly descriminated against in such battles, perhaps even more so given that the child in question is a daughter. Again ... totally unfair.

No wonder you feel appalled and distressed by the threats and demands being issues by the other party, and the possibility of your son losing parental rights. Which of course means that you too will lose access to your granddaughter. I dont know how to fix the system, or if it can ever be fixed at all. Family disputes are the worst .. so much at stake, so much to lose, so much emotion involved.

I hope your son is holding up as well as he can. And you too, under such difficult circumstances. Little Imogen must be feeling distraught too with all that is going on. There is now way that she isnt being affected by whats going on. Its very difficult to be needing to support all those around you, when you too are highly distressed. But I have no doubt you are doing a fabulous job of it.

My thoughts are very much with you during this difficult and upsetting time. I hope something fair and equitable can be resolved.

Sherry 🌺🤗💕

Dear @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Eve7 @Shaz51 ,

at last a sunny day here in Perth, it has been very grey and cold and rainy.

I have been rAther up and down lately and rather sad.. my step father is in hospital and very ill I think he will die very soon. He is a beautiful man with an amazing life story. But it makes me sad.

there has also been more aggression and nastiness from my granddaughters mother and this really affects me.

But my little granddaughter is beautiful and here for the next few days so I shall just enjoy being in that moment.

I don’t know what to say now, but I hope that everyone is ok and not too low.

peri

Hi @Peri

I hope you’re managing ok with all that has been going on. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been thinking of you and hope you’re enjoying your granddaughter.

💙🧡💙

Hi @Eve7 ,

thank you for the message. We had a lovely weekend with my granddaughter thank you. She is so lovely and a lot of fun. However the family court stuff is kicking off again. It all makes me very stressed.

my stepfather died yesterday evening, he was a lovely man and very loving . I feel sad , and he lived in Victoria and I don’t so I have been isolated from him over this time.

It is a wet day here, after a couple of bright sunny days, at least I did some gardening on Saturday and that made me feel better.

How are you getting on? I hope you are feeling the benefits of your treatment. I follow your posts with fondness

peri

Hello @Peri

how are you today my friend