Helloo @Amy123
Loving someone with bipolar (i or ii) or as Tigz calls her man, a Bipolar Bear, certainly has it's ups and downs. They can be un-bear-able, over-bear-ing but at other times they are cuddly bears and do show us they care for us too.
Learning how to adjust to life living with someone with what is a chronic condition and at times debilitating can be difficult - but it does not need to be a misery.
In saying that there are dreadful down times, some of us have seen the lowest of lows with attempts; substantance abuse can be a huge problem. Some of our partners are happy to involve us in their care (I am fortunately in that group) whilst others do not.
What I have found (and this is not always the case) is that when I learnt about things and responded in a healthy way, assuring Mr D I was on his team and tackling things together, it did make life easier for me/us. But even with this we do need to do things to protect our hearts - to set and enforce boundaries.
In MI learning how to take responsibility for managing ones condition is a key component to living as well as possible in spite of a diagnosis and this does not come easy to some patients. Whilst they do lean heavily on us at times (as they often have difficulties with friendships) I like to think of therapists as the bear trainers - they have the skills to help our loved ones learn how to cope with their condition.
Having our own supports in place is vital to enable us to manage and there are lot of free supports out there - if you let me know your rough location I can send you a list.
I often refer to some tenets from an American support group that helped me greatly which include these statements:
"My loved one’s mental health challenge has also left me feeling helpless and hopeless. Therefore, I choose the help of others in learning about the disorder and choosing healthy boundaries for myself."
"I haven’t always responded to my loved one’s mental health issue in ways that were good for the relationship. Therefore, I choose to learn better ways to communicate with, support, and encourage my loved one."
These are some other carers who live with BP partners
@Tiggeroo @Shaz51 @Sophie1 @Zorro
I will tag you in a couple of talks that are really helpful.
Feel free to ask whatever questions you have, we don't pull punches, we tell it like it is 😀.
Darcy
